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28 July 2010 @ 11:59 pm
Criminal Minds Fic: A Subtle Insinuation  
Posted to bau_fic


Title: A Subtle Insinuation
Pairing/Characters: Aaron/Emily
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: 1x01 to 5x10
Summary: Aaron doesn't really notice Emily becoming a part of his and Jack's lives
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ


Aaron doesn't even entertain the idea for the first couple of years.

Even with Haley's loss the divorce still stings and Aaron knows nothing has changed: the same concerns Haley had about being a BAU widow - and that word is like a stab to the chest just thinking it - are the same any woman would have married to him.

So he doesn't even look. He just focuses on getting Jack ready for school.

/

Derek's wedding is a bit unexpected. Spencer's more so. No one saw Dave getting re-married, least of all him, so in the end it's just Aaron and Emily working late once JJ 's gone home to Will and Penelope's left with Kevin.

They get a ritual going, a word Emily protests since it's too close to home with what they do, of ordering from the same restaurant about the same time each night. Aaron claims she can call it a rut and not be too far off from the truth, but he says it with a rare glimpse of a grin and Emily understands.

Aaron likes structure, he likes knowing what to expect, he likes being in control. He doesn't like surprises, though he remembers a time when little surprises could raise a smile to his face: an unplanned lunch with his wife, a random baby picture sent to his cell phone, being home in time for Jack to show off his latest acrobatics.

He misses those innocent days, those family days. It's not the same with Haley's sister helping out. Jack adores her, but they both know she's not his mother. No one will ever be his mother again.

But Aaron can't deny the subtle and not so subtle nudges from his coworkers, implying it's not his punishment to go alone and unloved into the grave. He knows this - on some level at least - but he can't bring himself to date, can't deal with the disappointment when they find out about him, about Jack, about Haley.

They may be profilers, but they just don't get it.

/

One night Emily breaks their so called rut and has an expansive French repast delivered to Aaron's office. Aaron's almost forgotten his birthday is coming up that Sunday; Jack's incessant singing of the birthday song around the house makes for an effective reminder, but only when he's at home.

Suddenly the meal shared between coworkers seems more formal, with linens and courses and chafing dishes... So Emily shoos him over to his office's guest couch, fixes him a plate and they curl up comfortable away from the perfectly set table and eat over their plates facing each other on the couch.

It's the best dinner he's had in ages, feeling loosened by wine and proud because of the cases they'd just closed... He's put his life back together again. He has stability and a son who loves him. He's set.

Nursing their wine goblets afterwards, Aaron goes to pat Emily's hand in gratitude for what she's done, only his hand comes to a stop atop hers, resting there as she looks up at him.

Instinct tells him to squeeze her hand and he does, feeling her answering strength in return, stronger than he'd imagined she could be.

He brings his eyes up to meet hers, to gaze at her anew.

Emily. She's always there, always there for him. The others married; she had not.

Her fingertips are delicate over their joined hands as if afraid the moment might disappear into the ether any second.

A vision plays out before him: Emily playing paddycake with little Jack, helping him into his thick coat in the winter snow, picking him up to dance with him at the wedding receptions. It was at Derek's wedding that she started calling Jack her little man, with great affection, and she made sure he had a great time despite being the only kid his age there.

She'd subtly insinuated herself into their lives in so many ways he really hadn't even noticed the extent of it.

His free hand skims through his dark hair, pensive. More gray hairs every year, more signs that life is slowing down around him, swirling around him, threatening to settle.

He doesn't want to settle alone.

Aaron brings his and Emily's joined hands nearer, tugging her closer to himself.

She shifts forward at his lead, looking perplexed and worried as if she might have done something wrong. That's so far from the truth; she has to already know what Aaron's taken years to figure out.

She's been waiting here for him, for him to be ready, ready for her.

With a wistful sigh, more out of chastising himself for making them both wait so long, he presses a kiss to their joined hands and - ignoring her surprise - pulls her in for a kiss on the lips as well.

Kissing Emily is like remembering and relishing old days yet with the fresh excitement of a whole future to discover. So much to learn between them, so much to see that they'd been pretending not to look at for so long. Aaron sinks contentedly into the familiarity even as he relishes the new - allowing the long denied desire for companionship well up in him. Emily tucks herself against him with ease and just fits there - perfectly - the same way she fits into the rest of his life.

By the time they get done with the final dessert course Emily is firmly ensconced in his arms, resting her head on his chest.

There's so much to do: getting the nightly reports out, getting back to the nanny before Jack has to go to bed, but this time is important too. In this time they bring two disparate lives into one space and by the miracle of word, gesture and emotion, make them one.

When they finally leave it's hand in hand, walking close, Emily reminding Aaron about Jack's first T-Ball game of the season that weekend.

It always felt wrong to sit alone in past years, amongst the mothers and occasional groups of both parents. It felt wrong to be the lone voice cheering his son on, as if the absence of his mother's voice would be a greater pain than the sound of his father's solo.

So Aaron suddenly is amped for the game, knowing he'll have Emily to cheer alongside him. Jack will be pleased, the day will go easier on Aaron, and Emily... He looks in her eyes and realizes they both want the same thing.

To not be alone.

/

This time everyone sees it coming, the marriage of Aaron and Emily. Most of them tease about how long it took, Jack even works up a kid's version of a joke about how slow his father is. It's a hit at the reception.

They still work cases. They still use nannies.

Until Emily's doctor tells her she's carrying twins who are likely to be preemies: both girls.

Jack can't stop whooping around about how he's going to be a big brother.

Aaron's worried about medical care for the girls and keeping Emily off her feet.

The girls turn out fine: tiny but healthy and out of the hospital in less than a week.

It takes Aaron until the first time the twins sleep through the night and he has to wake to his alarm to get Jack off to school on time to realize all that's changed.

He's got a family now, the kind he'd always dreamed of: devoted wife, loving son, beautiful baby daughters...

He might be the good guy who travels all over the country catching the worst of the bad guys, but he's this too: Husband, Father, Provider, Head of the household.

He's all of it and he's never been happier.

/

They find themselves in a rut half a decade later: they can't stop going back to that same French restaurant for each of their anniversaries.

But they laugh it off and Aaron kisses his wife to make her smile. She's so beautiful, tendrils of grey framing her face while he's going salt and pepper all over.

If this is how the rest of his life's going to look?

He'll take it.

Gladly.

///
 
 
 
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on July 29th, 2010 10:42 pm (UTC)
Confession
I confess I didn't plan this. I finished my math work for the night last night and took a look at the fic I was supposed to publish, but there was too much work to be done in rewrites to get it out so late.

I realized I hadn't published any CM all year O.o so I figured why not write some? We've been rewatching episodes on ION at home as of late and I was just mentioning after Aaron hurts his ears the Aaron/Emily and Aaron/Dave shippers had to have loved how they were the ones who responded with caring to his pain. So I thought a little Aaron/Emily ficlet before bed might be nice.

/headdesk/

Yeah, since when does the definition of a ficlet include pieces over 1300 words long?

Grr. Argh.

So I held this a half day - sue me. I realized last night that while I didn't care about polishing this fic and making it pristine or anything, I'd blown most of the verb tenses and didn't have the energy to self-beta to get them all back in line.

So forgive the backdating and if I missed any verbs. And the whole, you know, abandoning the fandom for over 6 months. (Do I get any credit for my last CM fic being a big bang? I am allowed recovery time, right? LOL)

Thanks,

Emma DeMarais
thedummie2thedummie2 on July 29th, 2010 11:24 pm (UTC)
Re: Confession
Oh My. I missed you from the CM fanfic community so much.

THIS was beautiful. I'm not even a big Aaron/Emily shipper. I like both characters, but they are FAR from my favorites. You made me care about them regardless.

You have been dearly missed hun.

~Thedummie2
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on July 29th, 2010 11:30 pm (UTC)
Re: Confession
Wow, thank you so much for this! I kind of assumed most of the people who read BAU_fic were into the slash BNF authors and that I didn't make much of a dent past the handful of people I knew from mostly elsewhere (save with the Morgan/Garcia crowd who does know me by now). It's really nice to know someone in CM noticed I was gone and was glad I written this.

You've made my day!

/gives you cookies in appreciation/

Now I want to see about writing some of the CM crossovers I've been hoping to get to all year! (I miss writing the characters, but I have a great time mixing and matching them with other fandoms.)
riverotter1951riverotter1951 on July 29th, 2010 11:10 pm (UTC)
Beautiful. This was worth the wait.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on July 29th, 2010 11:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Not sure why it took me so long, especially given how many episodes I've been watching lately.
doctaj10doctaj10 on July 30th, 2010 12:42 am (UTC)
What a great story, it definitely hits all the right notes.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on July 30th, 2010 01:16 am (UTC)
Thank you! I figured after all Hotch has been through he deserves some sort of happy ending.
(Deleted comment)
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on July 30th, 2010 06:43 am (UTC)
Thank you! It's wonderful to know the CM community hasn't forgotten me after all this time. Your comment really made me smile.

My roommates are watching the Paradise episode tonight and I was grumbling because I really wanted to rewatch Wil Wheaton's character go up against Hotch, but I'm supposed to be studying for tomorrow's final exam.

CM won. ;-) (But I did only watch up until that scene. Thank heaven for DVRs!)

Here's hoping for less of a wait until the next one!
let_it_linger21let_it_linger21 on August 2nd, 2010 02:00 am (UTC)
Very well written! Love the story and would definitely love to see something like this happening!
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on August 2nd, 2010 02:18 am (UTC)
Thank you! And I agree - Hotch needs something good happening to him in canon.

BTW, what is your icon of? That looks like a lovely H/C type scene, but I don't recognize anyone.
let_it_linger21let_it_linger21 on August 2nd, 2010 04:37 pm (UTC)
Agree on the Hotch comment!
My icon is of Harry and Murphy from the Dresden Files though I can't remember which scene or episode.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on August 2nd, 2010 08:10 pm (UTC)
Thanks for letting me know! /is intrigued/
let_it_linger21let_it_linger21 on August 3rd, 2010 03:47 am (UTC)
You're welcome! It was a great series-SciFi channel only let it run one season-but the novels that inspired it are quite fascinating!
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on August 3rd, 2010 04:04 am (UTC)
It keeps coming close to getting added at ficfinishing but it always gets outvoted in the end. I may have to break down and watch at least the pilot once it wins a slot at the comm.