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15 August 2010 @ 08:39 pm
White Collar Fic: Five FBI Files  
Written for whitecollar100 Challenge #006 – File


Title: Five FBI Files
Pairing/Characters: Neal, Clinton, Lauren, Diana, Reese, Peter
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 500
Spoilers: Pilot, Threads, Withdrawal, Need to Know
Summary: Neal keeps his own files on the FBI with his own notes
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ


Clinton Jones

Only agent on the team Peter always calls by his last name.
Encourages people to call him by his last name despite there being six Agent Joneses.
Seems to dislike his first name more than his last name.
Might be a Republican.
Turns his nose up at flavored lattes but drank the raspberry one I slipped him supposedly on accident.
Would probably look the other away if I did anything minor.
Would probably turn me in if he thought Peter would be furious.
Mozzie's starting to call him Suit Junior, but I like that name better for Satchmo.

Lauren Cruz

Prides herself on resisting my charms even though I don't use them on her.
Flaunts studying me as a criminal yet pretends I'm no big deal.
Has no argument for the fact that they only send Peter after people who are big deals.
Sucks up to Peter like nobody's business even though she barely registers on his radar.
Would probably bust me for the smallest infraction just to prove her superiority.
Would definitely turn me in if I tried anything major - might even shoot me.
Attractive but don't want to be stuck in the van with her.

Diana Barrigan

Actually is resistant to my charms.
Has a girlfriend named Christie.
Was Peter's probie, moved to DC, then moved back to New York.
Clearly from money.
Clearly doesn't give a crap about family money.
Wicked sense of humor.
Shows her tattoo in the FBI offices = instant plus.
Likes my hat.
Would totally turn the other way for minor offenses and might even join in if they were helpful to a case.
Would be the first to toss my ass back in prison if I got Peter in big trouble.
Is very loyal - sadly not to me.

Reese Hughes

Has that sort of indulgent grandpa look about him at first sight.
Is actually closer to a pit bull.
He doesn't ask agents to come to him, he beckons with his fingers.
This seems to meet with a fair amount of dread even when people aren't in trouble.
Is probably the person who said yes to Peter getting me out of prison.
Is probably the one with the most to lose if I fail.
Not a chance he'd let me get away with even a parking ticket.
He sticks up for Peter and that's good enough for me.

Peter Burke

Not only likes but actively eats deviled ham despite his wife serving imported caviar at her functions.
Smarter than he looks and probably even smarter than I think he is.
Married to Elizabeth so definitely smarter than the average bear.
Has a dog = good person in my book.
Greets his wife first then his dog - has his priorities straight.
Threatens to toss me back in prison all the time.
Probably would only do it if Hughes made him.
Might not do it if I had a really good reason for a felony.
Don't test that theory.

o--c
 
 
 
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on August 16th, 2010 03:39 am (UTC)
Confession
My first drabble series for whitecollar100! I've done tons for numb3rs100, but this is not my comm so I wanted to make sure I was careful about following the rules. :-)

I confess this fic didn't turn out anywhere near as funny or clever as I'd hoped it would be when I first conceived it, but the week is up and I wanted to get it in before the prompt changed. Ah, well. Better luck next prompt.

Very special thanks to beta melissima for her assistance with this fic.

Thanks,

Emma DeMarais
ladygray99: WC100ladygray99 on August 16th, 2010 04:48 am (UTC)
:HUGS:

I think it's pretty cute and clever. I really like how Neal sees everyone. I also like how he notes which one's will get him in trouble and which ones won't. I particularly like your take on Jones. Suit Junior is a cute title. You also bumped our drabble count for the week over 20 so thank you for that. :D
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on August 16th, 2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
Congratulations! It feels good to have your comm prompts written so much, doesn't it? I'm thrilled at how well the comm is doing and so proud that you were interested in using some of our rules and practices for your comm.

I'm glad you liked this, but it was so much better in my head. I guess I'll have to live with the fact that I couldn't deliver on the promise of it better than I did. Ah well, it's good to push oneself though, eh? ;-)
(no subject) - ladygray99 on August 17th, 2010 04:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
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Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on August 16th, 2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
ICONNAGE FTW! LOL
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(no subject) - emmademarais on August 16th, 2010 10:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - emmademarais on August 16th, 2010 10:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ladygray99 on August 17th, 2010 04:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
Buggy: White Collar hat fliptoomuchfandom on August 16th, 2010 08:52 am (UTC)
This is awesome:D
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on August 16th, 2010 10:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks! So's your icon! /enjoys/
(no subject) - toomuchfandom on August 16th, 2010 10:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - emmademarais on August 16th, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - toomuchfandom on August 16th, 2010 10:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - emmademarais on August 16th, 2010 10:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - toomuchfandom on August 16th, 2010 10:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - emmademarais on August 16th, 2010 10:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
elrhiarhodanelrhiarhodan on August 16th, 2010 12:30 pm (UTC)
These are terrific AND FUNNY (how could you say they aren't?).

I love seeing Neal's POV on his friends and co-workers, particularly Hughes - which is spot on perfect.

Thank you!

And don't ever worry about prompt deadlines...we're always happy to have fills, whenever they arrive.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on August 16th, 2010 10:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you. They were just funnier in my head when I first conceived of them, but I couldn't seem to deliver. Ah, well. They're fine, I just had hoped for better, you know? Hughes was unexpected. I couldn't think of a fifth person and then I was all DOH! Hughes! Of course! I was thinking more of Peter's team, not Peter's boss.

I know you guys allow past prompts (that was the first rule my co-mod and I changed when we took over numb3rs100 years ago) but I fear if I don't keep up I'll fall off the wagon and school will eat up my time and my drabbles will be far less frequent. So we'll see if I can keep up when I'm in school full time.

Thanks for the encouragment!
Crystalshard: WC - Neal haircrystalshard on August 16th, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC)
*chuckle* I love the punchline. It was smile-worthy all the way through, but 'Don't test that theory' made me laugh. Very Neal-ish and accurate insights into the characters.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on August 16th, 2010 10:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I figured Reese should come after Peter in the list, but I so wanted Peter last and that final line was definitely the place to end it.
jrosemaryjrosemary on August 16th, 2010 11:42 pm (UTC)
Delightful! I think Neal's insights are dead on. I especially liked this:

Might not do it if I had a really good reason for a felony.
Don't test that theory.


I think Neal comes perilously close to testing that theory, lol. (I'm thinking Vital Signs and By the Book.) Good thing his instincts are on track!
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on August 16th, 2010 11:48 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thanks!

I think he's way more willing to push Peter if it's for whatever case they're working on. Peter most definitely would not give him the same amount of leeway if he was following a lead on Kate.
Cearesceares on September 18th, 2010 07:54 pm (UTC)
*loves*! especially that his first note about Peter is the deviled ham.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on September 18th, 2010 09:07 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thanks! As a connoisseur I'm sure Neal is horrified by deviled ham whereas Peter probably remembers it as a rare treat from childhood. /grins/
(no subject) - ceares on September 19th, 2010 06:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - emmademarais on September 19th, 2010 06:52 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ceares on September 19th, 2010 07:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - emmademarais on September 19th, 2010 07:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ceares on September 19th, 2010 07:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - emmademarais on September 19th, 2010 07:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ceares on September 19th, 2010 08:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
nice_disguise on January 1st, 2011 11:56 am (UTC)
Great idea and funny execution. I could see it all and loved the details. You revealed something about the people as well as Neal.