?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
03 April 2012 @ 11:59 pm
White Collar Fic: A Single Shot  
Written for whitecollar100 Challenge #091 - Shot


Title: A Single Shot
Series/Universe: A Single Shot
Pairing/Characters: Peter, Neal
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 100
Spoilers: Pilot
Summary: Peter watches as Neal gets shot down on the street
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ


Screaming, sirens, shouting... It's all white noise in Peter's ears. He can't hear anything past his own words. Oh God... Come on, Neal! Stay with me! His hands are covered with blood as he presses down on Neal's chest where white shirt's gone dangerously dark. So much blood... That handsome face has gone pale, too pale, too still. God damn it, Neal. You don't get to check out this way! Not like this! And then he's forcibly removed, torn away by EMTs. Peter watches, adrift in the world, detached from reality save the body wrenching anguish of his own sobs.

o--c
 
 
 
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on April 5th, 2012 12:07 am (UTC)
Confession
I hadn't really planned on making this a series at first, but I figured the two prompts I had to write (Shot and Shout) went together so well plus once I publish these two then someone is bound to ask for more. ;-)

I confess I did enjoy making it all one compressed paragraph (when I'm the queen of carriage returns thanks to all my dialogue) because it felt like the way Peter might - everything overlapping and happening too fast.

Thanks,

Emma DeMarais
melissima: neal catchmelissima on April 5th, 2012 01:47 am (UTC)
Heh I was about to comment on the compressed/overlapping paragraph...and then I read your confession. :D It works, though. It's excellent. Scary and painful.

Brava!
ladygray99: WC100ladygray99 on April 5th, 2012 10:11 am (UTC)
EEEP! Don't worry Peter. Neal's a fighter. I know he is.
sky_at_twilightsky_at_twilight on April 5th, 2012 05:47 pm (UTC)
OMG! I can see Peter frantically trying to do something.
love_82 on April 7th, 2012 08:37 pm (UTC)
It all pressed together in one paragraph worked well. That is how Peter's thoughts would be. All jumbled together. Great imagery.