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11 December 2007 @ 11:26 pm
Miracles Fic: Other Voices  
Posted to miracles_fanfic


Title: Other Voices
Pairing/Characters: Paul, Alva
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Series
Summary: After Matty's ordeal Paul tries to quit SQ
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ


"Paul..."

Alva's hand on Paul's arm was unexpected yet firm, halting his exit, his tone both insistent and pleading.

Paul didn't even turn back to face him as he spoke, sadness coming through beneath the brusque businesslike demeanor.

"You heard Evie. As long as I'm around Matty's not safe. She's not safe." He paused before adding quietly, "You're not safe."

"That's a risk I'm willing to accept," Alva stated stoically.

"And what if I'm not?" Paul exclaimed, whirling around to face Alva, breaking his hold on him. "What if I don't want that responsibility? Stop thinking only about yourself for a change, Keel!" He turned and strode towards the door.

"You can't do this alone, Paul!" Alva called out, trying to catch up to him. "Destiny will find you wherever you go." As Paul started to open the door Alva jogged up and slammed it shut with the palm of his hand. "All signs point to a major event in which you - you Paul - are a factor," he stressed, catching Paul's eyes in his intense gaze. "It remains to be seen however if you are on the side of good or..." he paused, clearly uncomfortable with finishing the sentence, "or not."

"How can I not be good?" Paul asked, exasperated. "I was raised in a Catholic orphanage, I was in the seminary, I worked for the Church!"

"So did the Spanish Inquisition," Alva reminded him, "and history has shown us the depth of their iniquity." He moved in close, eyes still locked with Paul's. "Many men of faith have fallen. Have not angels themselves fallen according to scripture?" He arched an eyebrow as Paul's expression fell. "Your faith is being tested," he said gently. "Are you sure it's strong enough to withstand all trials?"

Paul's gaze fell to the floor. "No." His shoulders slumped in defeat. "I'm not sure."

"Then let me help you." Alva laid a hand on Paul's shoulder. "I'm not certain what my true role is on this earth, but all that has happened in my life - all the voices that have guided me - it's led me to you, Paul. I do not believe that is by accident."

"Divine intervention?" Paul offered, finally cracking a tiny smile as he looked up from beneath the shock of hair covering his face.

"There are many forces at play, my friend," Alva said, squeezing Paul's shoulder. "I do not presume all of them to be benevolent." He let his hand fall and opened the door. "You are free to go. You don't have to work for SQ if you don't want to. I can't make you." Alva ducked down a little to try to catch Paul's eyes again. "But you will find I am not so easily dissuaded from my cause. You will not lose me, Paul. I will not abandon you to the wolves when so much is at stake."

Paul straightened himself up finally. "If you're sure..."

"I could not be more certain." Alva's expression was resolute.

Paul nodded, letting a smile finally grace his face. "You're a stubborn man, Alva," he said with almost a sense of wonder.

"It's one of my many charms," Alva joked, his tone lightening. "Why don't I take you home so you can rest? Your body needs time to heal from its ordeal."

Paul let out a long sigh. "Yes... That would probably be good. I'm afraid being dead didn't agree with me."

"I would imagine not," Alva said kindly. "Probably best that you not attempt to repeat that endeavor in the future."

"Trust me, I've got no plans to!" Paul said with a chuckle.

"Let me fetch my coat," Alva said, holding up a finger to get Paul to wait as he headed back to his office. He ducked inside, grabbed his coat and quickly locked the office door before returning to where Paul lingered at the exit, pensive.

When he started to open the door this time Paul stopped him.

"You said voices not voice." At Alva's confused expression, he explained further. "Earlier, you said 'all the voices'. I thought you told me you only heard your mother's voice and that was what changed the course of your life."

"It did indeed." Alva put on his long dark coat and adjusted the collar. "But not all voices are supernatural. One of them was my own - the voice I discovered after I was finally able to drive my father's voice from my head and make my own decisions in life."

He opened the door and held it so Paul could exit. Paul stood his ground, making Alva look at him quizzically.

"Were there other voices?" he asked.

"One," Alva replied, looking at Paul with gratitude in his eyes. "It was yours."

^^
 
 
 
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 12th, 2007 07:28 am (UTC)
Confession
Dialogue!

I can has voices!

When you can't get through the front door, try a window. /nods to Numb3rs fandom/

I used my dialogue free fic backdoor to start writing Miracles fic and voila! Almost immediately I got fic with dialogue!

I worried about Paul's and Alva's voices in this because it was my first time, but the more I read it the more I feel that I did pretty decent for a first attempt - especially with Alva. I look forward to nailing their voices in the future, but for now I like reading this fic and that's a major coup for me.

/tangent/

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

/end tangent/

The title of the fic, and I suppose to some extent the fic itself, was inspired by The Cure song of the same name. The song has a wonderfully dark and hypnotic base line that would have made a wonderful soundtrack for the series IMHO.

Hmm... I've written three straight up Miracles fic so far and one crossover and Paul hasn't had *one* head injury yet! Clearly I need to get on the ball here! ;-)

Very special thanks to beta sailorhathor for her assistance with this fic.

Thanks,

Emma DeMarais
laurel: skeet - paulsailorhathor on December 13th, 2007 05:00 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
The Paul Callan Head Injury Clock is getting up there in numbers. This must be remedied! :D It's been many long days since Paul received a head injury in a fanfic. Many long, lonely days. *forlorns*
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 13th, 2007 05:03 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
I know! I told my slashwife today that it was at like 111 days and I took that as a sign I *must* reset it.

Hehehe
laurel: skeet - sweet skeet meatsailorhathor on December 13th, 2007 05:51 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
Hee, you looked at the clock and it called to you too. :D "Loooook how many daaaaays..." And me without a way to conk Paul on the head...
Killa: paul alva god is nowherekillabeez on December 12th, 2007 12:46 pm (UTC)
Oh, what a lovely surprise!

You certainly do have voices. I think you've got Alva in particular down cold. And this is a conversation so true to the series. And I've wondered how much Evy's "you're not safe" would haunt him. Talk about voices you can't escape.

I adore the moment when Paul admits he's afraid for Alva, too.

The only thing I wonder about is whether Paul would be so sure about his own goodness. I think he's seen enough by this point to know Alva's right to wonder. I think after Chad, he has to wonder how much self-delusion he's capable of -- or worse.
fredbassettfredbassett on December 12th, 2007 10:17 pm (UTC)
Not having seen the series, can I ask what SQ stands for?

And yes, I liked the Spanish Inquisition line.

Reminded me of the awful statement by the bishop about the burning of the Cathars during the Abigensian crusade when one of the generals queried how they could tell the Cathars from the other townsfolk captured after the seige, and the reply was said to be "Burn them all, God will know his own." Always makes me shiver when I read that.
melodyunity on January 2nd, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)
This was a lovely cap to that episode.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on February 2nd, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad people in the fandom liked it. I was nervous.

(And sorry to take so long to respond!)