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13 March 2008 @ 09:46 am
Numb3rs Fic: .22 Caliber  
Written for numb3rs100 Challenge #150 – Prayer

Title: .22 Caliber
Series/Universe: Staring Down the Barrel of a Gun
Pairing/Characters: Don, Charlie
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 100
Spoilers: None
Summary: A body. A bullet. His brother.
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

A body. A bullet. His brother.

Charlie... No, not Charlie...

He approaches cautiously to the side, peels Charlie's fingers away from a .22, helps him lower his rigid arms.

"He's dead isn't he?"

Don can't answer, doesn't have to. A pool of blood on the concrete answers for him.

"I wasn't aiming for his head."

Don takes him by the arm, leads him away.

He calls it in on autopilot while Charlie stares into space, seeing nothing that's there and everything he'll never forget.

Charlie killed a man.

Don prays it won't mean the end of two lives.

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on March 13th, 2008 04:47 pm (UTC)
It's like magic! First there's a one shot and voila! Look again and there's a series!

I confess I try very hard not to put punctuation in my summary lines. This time I did. This summary is also unusual in that I pretty much never put actual parts of the fic into the summary line, especially not opening lines.

But given how hard it is for me to make decent summaries how could I top those six words?

I know Hemingway wouldn't exactly be proud, but my six words? Not bad...

As far as the Series goes, I think this is the second best after the opener. The rest are good, but I'm not as enamored of them.

I've been poked a little by bunnies for longer fic dealing with this topic since I published the first, but so far I've fought them off. I'm still waiting for the 'OMG I *have* to write that' bunny. As of this year I'm trying to write live by the maxim, 'life's too short' (to write mediocre fic). ;-)


Emma DeMarais
perhaps some frottage is in order: [spn] Jo wide-eyedsororcula on March 13th, 2008 05:01 pm (UTC)
*claps hands over mouth*

Oh, CHARLIE. :-(
Kayra: Numb3rs - CharleDon Brotherscraftypug on March 13th, 2008 05:58 pm (UTC)


*reads again.

OMG! Charlie!

*reads again.

OMG! Don!

*wibble* *wibble*

and this is pretty my reaction to the first part as well. :)
nativestarnativestar on March 13th, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
Ooh. A lovely addition to the first one. I like the real feeling of shock you've created here.

Charlie stares into space, seeing nothing that's there and everything he'll never forget.

I especially love this line.
{    ♫ siri ♫    }: numb3rs + this fbi thing [don]thisissirius on March 13th, 2008 06:06 pm (UTC)
oh, i ache for charlie here!

He calls it in on autopilot while Charlie stares into space, seeing nothing that's there and everything he'll never forget

*speechless* you've done it again, to me! i can't wait for the rest! oh, charlie! my poor honey!
ladygray99ladygray99 on March 13th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
Oooooh. Nice :-)
hear me roarmagisterequitum on March 14th, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
I know everyone has already said that the line about staring into nothing and seeing everything he'll never forget was great, but it really was. It gives a visual and a haunting feeling to this piece.

Poor Charlie. I'm praying with Don too.
Jelsemiumjelsemium on March 14th, 2008 02:07 am (UTC)
Awwww... Poor Charlie. What a nasty thing to live with. Not even knowing he had no choice is particularly helpful in this situation.

I'm still wondering where they are. The Craftsman, maybe? That would explain why Don put his gun down and why Charlie would have access to a gun. (Even if its his gun, I'm sure he wouldn't carry it arround.)
Karen: numb3rs charliebyrons_brain on March 14th, 2008 11:35 am (UTC)

Very effect m'dear...
fredbassettfredbassett on March 15th, 2008 02:29 pm (UTC)
Again, there's an awful lot packed into a very short space here :)
(Anonymous) on August 25th, 2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
I'm new here, just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.