Log in

No account? Create an account
20 July 2008 @ 10:36 pm
Numb3rs Fic: In Pursuit  
Written for numb3rs100 Challenge July 2008 Rewind – Speed, Shift, Smoke, Shot

Title: In Pursuit
Pairing/Characters: Billy
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 400
Spoilers: Man Hunt
Summary: Billy is in a high speed chase pursuing a fugitive
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

111. Speed

Tires screech, high speed turn, don't crash, don't burn. Billy's in pursuit, got his eyes on the road, on the Corvette, on the gun pointed at him. Shots fired, shots fired at him. "Fugitive is heading west on Avenue B... Now going north on 14th..." Speeding down city streets, skidding through alleys. Got to stop this guy, got to stop this nonsense, getting too old for this. Have to slow down, but not just yet. Have to catch this guy, can't let him get away. "Turning west on Avenue E..." He presses his foot down on the gas, faster, fast.

051. Shift

Downshift turn, shift into high gear, run. Fugitives only know one way: car and gun. Billy dodges a shot that shatters his windshield, dodges a bullet meant for him. Cut him off, block him in, don't let him out... He changes direction again, fickle as the wind: left right, north east, west wind blows hot with exhaust and Billy is so ready for this to be over. "What's going on with my roadblock?" he yells into his radio. He sees it before they answer: they've barred all exits from Avenue G. The trap is set; the prey's in the net.

064. Smoke

The Corvette hits the spike strips doing sixty easy; smoke billows up as tires blow, sparks glow and the street racer spins out of control. When he stops Billy's out of the car - kevlar on, safety off - gun raised. Black and whites and sirens abound, surround. "Fugitive sighted, hold your position." They wait out the smoke, wait out the perp - seven hearts racing now that the race is done. "FBI! Come out of the car with your hands up!" The air is filled with burning rubber stench, with Billy's own sweat, but not with a sound from the stationary Corvette.

074. Shot

A single shot - pop - they all stop, a spray of red across the glass. No exit, they'd said and now they've got a burned out wreck of a car and a fugitive: dead. Billy takes the lead, takes responsibility, takes his time going and checking to make sure enough blood's been spilled that none will ever be spilled again. Three time robber, two timing murderer, a dime of time and he's not going back to prison again, that's for damn sure. Billy holsters his weapon and walks away. Yeah, he's getting too old for crime. It's quitting time - for good.

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on July 21st, 2008 05:38 am (UTC)
Another experiment - this one focusing on cadence, including semi-structured rhymes and an obscene amount of repetition. ;-) Probably better read aloud. /shrugs/

FWIW, this may be one of the few times I've written an entire drabble in one paragraph - and I did it four times! (I love my white space, yes I do... Hehehe)

Very special thanks to beta melissima for her assistance with this fic.


Emma DeMarais
perhaps some frottage is in order: [girls] Danneel carsororcula on July 21st, 2008 06:02 am (UTC)
Oh! The rhythm of this left me breathless. Awesome.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on July 21st, 2008 06:05 am (UTC)
Yay! Thanks! It is a high speed chase of that sort as well. I read it aloud to Mel and it left me breathless too!
CeriseRevecerisereve on July 21st, 2008 06:20 am (UTC)
Ohhhhh! This was cool!!! Someday I want to try something like it. =)

Definitely best read aloud.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on July 21st, 2008 06:28 am (UTC)
Thank you!

I thought you already had done some poetic stuff. /scratches head/
CeriseRevecerisereve on July 22nd, 2008 03:21 am (UTC)
I tend to despise poetry. I should get over that opinion as I know poetry has lots to offer a writer.

The Don/Liz drabble I wrote probably does fall into the category of poetry. However, I like the stream of consciousness, rhyming, and repetitive nature of the drabbles here. That I haven't tried before.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on July 22nd, 2008 03:37 am (UTC)
People who say they hate poetry tend to not have just found poets they enjoy. It's pretty much like any other literature: there's good and bad and both are moot until you find some you enjoy.

That's probably the one I'm thinking of. I just seem to remember liking it.

I enjoyed this format partially because it managed to be both freeform (stream of consciousness) and structured (rhymes occurring in the same places each time). It made for a nice challenge and an interesting outcome.

Repetition is one of my favorite devices. I use it *way* too often. LOL
CeriseRevecerisereve on July 22nd, 2008 03:59 am (UTC)
You're probably right about me not finding the poets I enjoy yet. I'm reacting mostly to all the stuff in high school I was forced to read and analyze.

I love repetition too.
andi: Billy smilingadmiralandrea on July 21st, 2008 07:53 am (UTC)
Wow, that certainly had the breathless, repetitive thing going on! It was really good, I could see this happening in my head as I read it. Brava!
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on July 21st, 2008 08:00 am (UTC)
Thank you! Sometimes my experiments don't turn out half bad.
Cynthia: Brilliant1trackmind on July 21st, 2008 08:39 pm (UTC)
Oh very nice! Quitting time indeed.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on July 21st, 2008 11:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I've had Billy outside of the FBI in my head for a while so this kind of got influenced by that aspect of him.

Yes, ponder this for a second: Billy Cooper - family man with little kids. /marvels/
delgaserasca on July 22nd, 2008 09:46 pm (UTC)
I really enjoyed this. I loved the pace, and you chose a format that swung with rhythm. He changes direction again, fickle as the wind.

It's been a while since I've enjoyed fic in this fandom, but you did a great job with this, both with the language play and with the characterisation. It felt real. Bookmarking!
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on July 23rd, 2008 06:11 am (UTC)
Oh, wow! /is honored/

This is the kind of fic I know you like and I am so seldom capable of producing it I feel bad.

I feel *very* bad about you not feeling inspired by the fandom. I know we have other things in common, but to not be connected by my main fandom anymore makes me blue.

I miss you and Ley writing in the fandom. No one else has stepped up to fill the void you two left and I? I'm not qualified to even try. But for now, I try experiments like this and am gratified when talented people such as yourself deem them worthy of note.

Thank you.