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25 January 2009 @ 11:58 pm
Numb3rs Fic: Kaddish  
Written for numb3rs100 Challenge January 2009 Rewind – Bullet, Blood, Luck, Survival


Title: Kaddish
Pairing/Characters: Don/Robin, Buck, David, Colby, Nikki, Liz, Charlie, Alan
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 400
Spoilers: Seasons 1-4, Scan Man, Arrow of Time
Summary: Buck goes down shooting (Arrow of Time Alternate Ending)
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ


073. Bullet

Buck goes down shooting.

Everyone hesitates a split second - admonished so many times to wait for Don, to wait on David's approval - and in that fraction of the arrow of time he gets one shot off before they open fire on him.

One.

The bullet misses Don's vest by an inch.

It misses his carotid artery by less.

His mouth forms words, but there's no sound. Colby's putting pressure on the wound. Nikki's calling for an ambulance. David sees Don's lips move and understands.

He gets Robin.

Then he gets the rabbi.

"Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad..."



174. Blood

There's blood on Robin's hands, her clothes. There's a smudge on her face from where Don had reached up with the last of his strength to tenderly caress her cheek the second before he lost consciousness.

She clutches his hand through the whole ambulance ride pleading with him not to die.

Tires screech, doors are thrown open. Strong swift hands drag the gurney out of the ambulance and propel it, careening, through the double doors where she can't follow, but a crash cart can.

She stumbles into the chapel and collapses into a pew.

"Pater Noster, qui es in caelis..."



013. Luck

By luck, or perhaps divine intervention, the best vascular surgeon in LA is at Cedars-Sinai, scrubbing up before Don's ambulance even arrives.

David drives Alan, silent and ashen. Colby corrals a flailing Charlie.

They come. They wait. They pray, each in their own way.

Liz silently presses a change of clothes from her trunk into Amita's hands as she leads a dazed and trembling Robin into the ladies room.

Amita helps her clean up - for when Don wakes up. When, she stresses.

After three hours in surgery, the doctors thankfully don't make a liar of her.

"Thiru anga malai..."



021. Survival

Don pulls through, still in the ICU when Buck is buried - a pauper's grave for a felon with no family left to mourn him. The bullet might have missed his spinal cord and windpipe, but it still ravaged a trail through his neck that takes weeks to heal.

After he gets released, he shakes off Robin's smothering and asks his father to drive him to temple.

He recites the Mourner's Kaddish for the man who tried to kill him and for the woman whose life Don took.

He prays for peace: theirs and his.

"Y'hei sh'lama raba min sh'maya..."

=
 
 
 
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on January 26th, 2009 08:00 am (UTC)
Confession
I confess I have no authority or special knowledge on the subject of world religions. Any and all of this may be wrong.

Shema Yisrael
Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad
Hear O Israel the Lord our God is one Lord

Our Father
Pater Noster, qui es in caelis
Our Father, who art in heaven

Hindu prayer
Thiru anga malai
For good health of all body parts

Mourner's Kaddish
Y'hei sh'lama raba min sh'maya
May there be abundant peace from Heaven

A few brief comments...

The Shema is the appropriate verse to recite for a dying person. It is an affirmation of faith.

Pater Noster is the Latin version of Our Father. Based on Robin's reaction to Don's renewed interest in Judaism it's not an entirely gross assumption to think she might be some sort of Christian, perhaps even Catholic. But a lawyer with a degree from Harvard definitely would have studied Latin and should have no trouble reciting a prayer in it if they found a copy in a chapel to read from.

It is unknown if Amita was raised into Hinduism, but the prayers of our parents often tend to find us when we need comfort and hope. (Note: I found no good source of Hindu prayers or mantras for the sick or injured. What I use here is doubtful, but I had to pick something.)

The Mourner's Kaddish isn't about death, but praising God. It's still traditionally used for mourning though. I use only an excerpt - one I felt was appropriate for the story.

Very special thanks to beta melissima for her assistance with this fic.

Thanks,

Emma DeMarais
melissima: Don's softer by <lj user=scotts_rock>melissima on January 26th, 2009 08:16 am (UTC)
This series is so affecting and emotional. I love it! especially this:

Liz silently presses a change of clothes from her trunk into Amita's hands as she leads a dazed and trembling Robin into the ladies room.

Amita helps her clean up - for when Don wakes up. When, she stresses.

After three hours in surgery, the doctors thankfully don't make a liar of her.

"Thiru anga malai..."


I love the extended family feeling here - most of them with no blood in common, but all hopeful for Don and supporting each other. I pray when my time comes, I will have just such an extended family around me.

/smishes you/ ♥
rubynyerubynye on January 26th, 2009 06:40 pm (UTC)
I love the extended family feeling here - most of them with no blood in common, but all hopeful for Don and supporting each other. I pray when my time comes, I will have just such an extended family around me.


I just had to second this comment (and take the chance to say hi to melissima :)

*huggles you both*
hear me roarmagisterequitum on January 26th, 2009 12:09 pm (UTC)
This is very powerful.

I spent a little while thinking of how this could have gone differently in this episode.

Brava, Emma.
DarkEly: Kitty in Pariselysium1996 on January 26th, 2009 04:20 pm (UTC)
I often wondered the alternative of that last scene of Arrow of Time. It could have gone down quite bloody as you depicted.

ladygray99ladygray99 on January 26th, 2009 04:53 pm (UTC)
Very nice. Interesting take on both what could have been and the rewind. Not as angsty as I expected but I quite liked it.
riverotter1951: lily of the valleyriverotter1951 on January 26th, 2009 05:06 pm (UTC)
You wrote:
I confess I have no authority or special knowledge on the subject of world religions. Any and all of this may be wrong.

Having a knowledge of both Jewish and Christian practices ,in my opinion, these are appropriate. In a crisis, we tend to revert to our childhood and what we learned. The familiar provides comfort and solace in the face of disaster and death.
Cynthia: Don Softer by scots_rock1trackmind on January 26th, 2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
Very nice ending! I still really need to see that episode.
Tori Lovelostandalone22 on January 28th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)
I really like this. Nice story!
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on January 29th, 2009 10:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :-)
Erinstarlettmalfoy on January 29th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC)
It's wonderful when a piece of writing makes such an impact to where the reader is wringing their hands and biting their lip with worry and anticipation.

Unfortunately, it makes my hands and lips sore. ^_^

I really enjoyed this though, regardless of the stress I felt. I confess, the one thing I shy away from completely are deathfics. Of course, that doesn't keep me from stumbling on them from time-to-time. Hehe. I took a risk for this one, though, because it's you, m'dear, and I adore your writing.

That, and, nothing can be as... gut-punching as Dira Sudis' damn Apocalypse drabble. ::shivers:: Heh.

::wanders off to read more of your old drabbles::
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on January 29th, 2009 10:08 pm (UTC)
Yay for making an impact!

/hands over chapstick and hand lotion supplies/

:-)

I don't do deathfic often so there's little to worry about. I'd say less than .5% of my fic is actual deathfic on this LJ, so it's a decent risk to take.

FWIW I didn't feel gut-punched by that Dira fic. I thought it was kind of weird, but since it was Dira, still good. But it wasn't visceral to me. I've read quite a few fic on N100 that hit me hard though, so they certainly exist. (I tend to post a bunch of hard hitting ones en masse in December. Try my December 2007 N100 drabbles for a good punch. I really liked Without Warning for impact.)

And yay for you reading old drabbles! The back catalog of N100 is rich with interesting things to read and I certainly have no shortage! :-)

Thanks for your lovely comment and your kind words and most of all - giving it a chance. :-)
fyreflyfyrefly101 on February 9th, 2009 10:08 pm (UTC)
I haven't seen this ep yet, but these were excellent - few words, and yet I feel totally wrung at what takes place. And like someone else commented, the way in which everyone becomes part of an extended family because they all care is testament to Don's character. Although you may have broken me a little with

David sees Don's lips move and understands.

He gets Robin.

Then he gets the rabbi.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on February 9th, 2009 10:47 pm (UTC)
Yes! \o/ Um, I mean I'm glad to hear you were moved. ;-) I loves me some hurt/comfort so when this episode had a lot of danger, but no whumpage I really wanted to rewrite it. You really should see the episode. It's one of the best of this season and this season's been really damn good.

And yes, I may be vain, but I think I did a better job in this fic of showing the team as extended family than they did in the last episode where they tried to make us believe that Liz felt like they were her family too.

Thanks for the lovely comment!
fyreflyfyrefly101 on February 9th, 2009 10:50 pm (UTC)
Not a problem, and I'm waiting (im)patiently to see the rest of the season. It's only just airing here in the UK, so they've only just shown Scan Man last week. Roll on Friday and whatever may come next :D
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on February 9th, 2009 11:10 pm (UTC)
Scan Man! That was a pretty good one.

I know some of our UK friends have been *cough* creative in how they watch the episodes, but I am glad the UK is airing them fairly up to date now.