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15 December 2009 @ 11:43 pm
Bones Fic: And Only Sawdust Crumbs Remained  
Posted to 206_bones

Title: And Only Sawdust Crumbs Remained
Pairing/Characters: Temperance, Angela, Zach, Jack, Seeley
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Summary: A strange holiday gift arrives at the Jeffersonian and perplexes the squints
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

The object, once delivered and signed for, was unwrapped and placed on a table for inspection.

Tempe cocked her head at it as Angela and Zach flanked her, each with a similar perplexed expression.

"It's wood," Tempe declared. "Or, to be more specific, a manufactured approximation of a portion of a tree."

"It's frosted," Angela countered. "It's a cake. That looks like wood."

"With mushrooms," Zach added. "Which, one assumes are not cake given their unfrosted appearance, but it is rather possible they are edible - unlike some of their counterparts in the actual fungi kingdom."

"Why would someone want to eat a cake that's shaped like a piece of wood?" Angela wrinkled her nose at it.

"And what flavor would wood taste like?" Zach leaned forward, examining it more closely. "I admit to kind of enjoying the wooden tongue depressors at the doctor's as a child however I don't think I'd go so far as to order a wood-flavored cake."

"I'm pretty sure it's chocolate," Angela told him, rolling her eyes. "Or mocha or hazelnut. You know, something normal."

"I'd very much like to know what culture considers eating a fake log normal," Tempe said, bemused. "Perhaps it's tied to some sort of symbolic ritual. It's probably pagan in origin."

"Hey! It got here!" Jack walked up, rubbing his hands together. "You guys got plates and forks? Let's dig in!"

"You plan to eat this?" Zach looked at him in horror.

"What is it?" Tempe asked.

"About a hundred dollars," Jack huffed with a good-natured smirk. "It's a buche de noel, people! A yule log!" At their blank stares he continued, flustered. "It's a traditional holiday cake and a very nice one at that. Trust me, it's hard to find a good gourmet bakery in D.C. that makes one. I almost had to have one couriered from New York City. I get one every year." He glanced around. "You don't even have a knife?" He reached over and pulled off one of the mushrooms and popped it into his mouth.

"Ew," Angela said, making a face.

Jack pointed to his mouth as he headed to get a knife, chewing. "Marzipan."

"Oh!" Angela brightened. "In that case." She plucked one off and took a bite of it, her expression switching to one of pleasure. "Very nice…" She turned and headed after Jack. "I'm going to get some plates and forks."

Tempe and Zach were left staring at the cake.

"So, is it wood flavored?" Zach asked.

Seeley bounded in, a bundle of energy as he took off his winter outerwear.

"So what's the squint squad up to… Ooh! Cake! I love a good yule log!"

"Wait!" Tempe protested. "I have a Ph.D. in anthropology and you know about an obscure ritual cake and I don't?"

"What can I say, Bones," he clucked at her teasingly. "If there was a Ph.D. in eating I'd definitely have one."

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 16th, 2009 07:45 am (UTC)
This ficlet started out being written for last year's Holiday Gifts for my F-list prompt from sororcula, but since I hadn't published any Bones fic in 2009 I decided to turn it into a proper published fic. Besides, I was so amused by it, I couldn't help myself. Hehehe

I confess I wasn't able to find the perfect buche de noel/yule log for Jack to buy, but this one is pretty close and yes, I did find a gourmet one for 100 dollars.

I could not, for the life of me, come up with a title before or during the writing so I enlisted the recipient, Sor, in the process which was more amusing than fruitful, but it did push me to try some amusing titles and when I ran this one past her it made her smile so we had a winner. /grins/

Very special thanks to sororcula for her assistance titling this fic.


Emma DeMarais
perhaps some frottage is in order: [bones] gesture of mutual successsororcula on December 16th, 2009 08:01 am (UTC)
♥ ♥ I loooove this!! Thank you so much!
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on December 16th, 2009 08:04 am (UTC)
YW, hon! I'm so glad!

ROFL @ your icon! /loffs/
t_vo0810t_vo0810 on December 16th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)
heee. i love the way their responses to the cake are so in-line with each of their characters. and zach, sweet bb zach chewing on the tongue depressors. heeeeee. god i miss zach. :( anyhoo, very sweet piece that feels like it is a deleted scene from one of their christmas time episodes. :)
ladygray99ladygray99 on December 16th, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
This is so very sweet. :)
Karen: bones_minebyrons_brain on December 16th, 2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
melissima: animated hodgelamelissima on December 16th, 2009 08:59 pm (UTC)

I love it when the squints are all confused like that! And yay for Jack and the good things in life. :D

Booth should get an honorary PhD in eating. He really should.

This is a happy-making little morsel of fic. Thank you for making me smile.
lizbet0lizbet0 on December 17th, 2009 02:59 am (UTC)
"If there was a Ph.D. in eating I'd definitely have one."

This was really fun! Thank you for writing it!
FreeSpiritbuffyangellvr23 on December 17th, 2009 04:47 am (UTC)
hehe love it :)
lasmeninaslasmeninas on December 17th, 2009 05:38 am (UTC)
Fantastic - score one for Booth! :)
Yay for seeing one of my fave N3 d/c writers pop up on my Bones radar.
Thank you!
bonesparticulat: bon studies skullbonesparticulat on December 17th, 2009 07:14 am (UTC)
Cute! I had no idea bûches de Noël were that unknown in the US... but I was born and raised in Belgium, so... Thank you. Wait, are you French? Your last name is... but no, you spell it the Anglo way, not "de Marais." Anyway, I have good memories of these cakes, a lot of them were actually made of different kinds of icecream.
...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...froodle on January 1st, 2010 10:05 am (UTC)
"I admit to kind of enjoying the wooden tongue depressors at the doctor's as a child"