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14 January 2010 @ 04:00 pm
Numb3rs Fic: Sometimes You Hear the Bullet (The Execution Style Remix)  
Written for numb3rs100 Holiday Drabble Remixathon - Remix of Sometimes You Hear the Bullet by rinkle/Challenge #73 – Bullet

Title: Sometimes You Hear the Bullet (The Execution Style Remix)
Pairing/Characters: Don
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 200
Spoilers: None
Summary: This time it's for real
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

A drop of sweat forms at Don's temple, the salty water stinging the fresh scrapes on his cheek. It's practically impossible to catch yourself when your hands are bound behind your back; Don had tried and failed.

Twigs and dry leaves crunch beneath his knees as he's forced to kneel in the desolate woods. They didn't blindfold him; that's a bad sign.

A gun cocks behind his head. It seems freakishly loud so close. He trembles like a child, breath hitching, fighting back a hysterical terror unlike any he's ever known.

No one even knows he's missing. There will be no daring last minute rescue tale to relate by the fireside in the inglenook back at the Craftsman. His father will not scold him for choosing such a dangerous profession and his brother will not urge him to be more careful next time.

There will be no next time.

The muzzle of the gun is cold and hard against the back of his head.

This time, this time it's for real.

Don closes his eyes, mouths a prayer and hopes, at least, his family will find a body to bury when it's over.

There's a bang and a body falls.

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on January 15th, 2010 12:00 am (UTC)
This fic was written for the Holiday Drabble Remixathon at numb3rs100. The original author was rinkle whose fic I remixed was Sometimes You Hear the Bullet.

I chose to remix this one because it was freaking amazing - a real example of how much power someone can pack into 100 words. As soon as I read it I knew I wanted to remix it if only to get other people to read the original (which AFAIK wasn't posted to N100). I knew I couldn't do a better job of it (thus me not even trying and deciding to do a 200 word take on it), but sometimes it's worth the flattery of imitation just to draw attention to a masterpiece.

I floundered over a remix title, but finally came up with one as chilling as the fic itself. This is one of those 'you decide for yourself' endings. (And if you don't like that, don't blame me! I'm just the remixer! LOL) I prefer to think that Don was saved at the last minute, but it's more chilling to think he really does die out there in the middle of nowhere all alone. /shudders/

(If anyone wants to know how I envision the ending, here goes: Don's team doesn't come save him, but someone else out in the woods - a hunter with a rifle - sees a man about to be shot execution style and shoots the gunman in time to spare Don's life.)

I did pluck a couple of lines from the original verbatim - including the last line and summary - so credit goes to Rinne specifically for those bits in addition to the premise I took to remix.

Hope you like the remix Rinne and thanks for all your lovely fic at N100 over the years!

Very special thanks to beta melissima for her assistance with this fic.


Emma DeMarais
(Deleted comment)
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on January 15th, 2010 12:16 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it! The original blew my mind so I really hope more people read it as a result of this remix. It certainly deserves to be read. It's really a spectacular piece. It made me jealous and that doesn't happen often.
(Deleted comment)
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on January 15th, 2010 12:47 am (UTC)
/nods/ All well deserved.
rubynye: Back to Back (Numb3rs)rubynye on January 15th, 2010 01:07 am (UTC)
*bites fingers* DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on January 15th, 2010 01:10 am (UTC)
Yeah, that was pretty much my level of flail when I read the original (which I hope you read as well).
Tamanna: Tammyswingandswirl on January 15th, 2010 07:27 am (UTC)


*revives long enough to read your Confession* Oh, thank God.

Brava, m'dear. Absolutely marvellous rework of an already outstanding fic. I love this, even if you did manage to shave a few years off my life. *hands bouquet*
Jelsemiumjelsemium on January 15th, 2010 08:44 pm (UTC)
ACK! Scary!

Very good mood setting. I'll have to re-read the original to see if I left a comment.

The vagueness of the last line "a body falls" leads me to hope that the body was the executioner rather than Don. (Oo, maybe Ian was out there.)

Good job on this.
t_vos_fics: hot burning lovet_vos_fics on February 9th, 2010 12:32 am (UTC)
I just realized after reading ur lovely comment on my remix that I never commented on yours!!! As you may have been able to tell, your remix and the original greatly impacted me. Stunned is an apt description of me after I read it. I couldn't stop thinking about the picture you painted, how I could feel Don's heart racing, his panting breaths, his regret. GAH! I immediately reread and reread and reread both of your drabbles to figure out how u packed such emotion into such a tiny word space. It really was amazing and a wonderful piece to learn from. After deconstructing yours, I (obviously) was inspired to try my own.

So Brava to you my dear. /applauds, standing ovation/

I will never ceased to be amazed by your talent or generosity. <3<3<3

Oddly now, I want to try my hand at a whole series of could-be-last-thoughts-drabbles. That's sick of me, right? Alan's last thoughts after a massive heart attack? Megan's thoughts as she bleeds out a second time after being attacked at the prison? Larry's near drowning in a tub?.......ow. my brain hurts. never mind :)
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on February 9th, 2010 12:46 am (UTC)
I think that would be awesome! You could do it like the Imaginary Men series - Eight Last Thoughts or something like that. Or maybe Final Regrets - what everyone wishes they'd done differently in their life before they died.

See, you've got me into it now!

I'm so glad Rinne's awesome fic got a second chance via remixing. It was so worth sharing with the world all over again.