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18 February 2010 @ 11:59 pm
Miracles Fic: The Truth of Names  
Posted to miracles_fanfic

Title: The Truth of Names
Pairing/Characters: Alva/Paul
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Series
Summary: In Alva's nightmares Paul inexplicably leaves him but reality proves to be even more unbelievable
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

"Alva, we need to talk." Paul stood at Alva's office door, looking somber. "I've come to a decision. My true vocation is with the church. I'm going back to working with Poppi."

Alva closed his book, blinking at Paul. "This is all very sudden. Have you thought this through?"

"I really didn't have to," Paul scoffed lightly. "I mean, it's not like I'm really getting anywhere here. We look at the same phenomena and have just as few answers, but at least the Monsignor's well funded. Nothing like the Catholic church to fund your cause."

Alva rose from his desk to approach Paul. "But the Ferguson case... They didn't believe it, but you did! How can you put that aside?"

"It's like you said, Alva," Paul pointed out. "A poltergeist can make things happen rather than a ghost so it wasn't Tommy healing me. He didn't make a miracle happen. He was just a sick kid who died."

"What, do you attribute your survival to just mere luck?" Alva asked, aghast.

"Maybe just good doctors." Paul shrugged. "Regardless, I've wound up in the hospital a half dozen times since I started working for you and it hasn't even been a year! I'm thinking it's safer for me to work for the church."

"Please," Alva said, his whisper intense yet quiet. "Don't go."

"Alva... Alva..."

Alva woke to Paul shaking his shoulder; he'd fallen asleep on the couch again.

"Is everything all right?" Paul looked at him worriedly. "It sounded like you were having a nightmare."

Alva sat up abruptly, his defenses still down and Paul hurriedly sat beside him, hand on his shoulder.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing," Alva muttered. "Nothing at all."

"Keel, please..."

Alva huffed. "At least I know this is real."

"How's that?"

"You never call me by my first name unless I'm dreaming."

Paul furrowed his brow. "I thought that's what you wanted me to call you?"

Alva just shrugged, a loose motion given his still drowsy state. "I suppose it doesn't matter."

"It matters... To me." Paul's hand on his shoulder moved behind Alva's neck. "Please, just talk to me for once?" Alva let his eyes fall closed, all his attention on Paul's hand, heavy and warm on the back of his neck.

"I dreamed... I dreamed you quit and went back to the church. You left me."

"Would that be so bad?" When Alva's eyes flashed open and turned to look at Paul, Paul looked surprised. "It's just... It looked like a really bad dream. I didn't think losing an employee would be that bad of a nightmare."

Alva looked at the floor, unable to meet Paul's eyes any longer.

"I had hoped you perhaps felt a bit more loyalty to us, to me," he amended, "than just as an employer."

"Is that really what this is about?" Paul demanded.

"It doesn't matter. If you're not leaving, it was all just a dream. Best to forget it all." Alva rose and went to the sink to splash water on his face. Paul stood as well, watching as he dried his face off, avoiding his reflection in the mirror.

"God, for once - for once - why can't you say what's really on your mind?" Paul said, raising his voice in frustration. "I tell you, Keel. The more you shut me out..."

"What?" Alva shot back. "The more likely you are to go back to Father Calero's waiting arms?"

"That's not fair!"

"What's more likely is if I tell you you'll run, not walk, and forget about all this, about me," Alva blurted out before he could stop himself.

Paul stood staring at him, stunned.

Alva wished desperately he could take the words back, but he couldn't.

Silence fell over the room, only their harsh breathing splitting the air.

"You're important, Paul," Alva finally said quietly. "And I want very much for you to stay with SQ."


Alva let his eyes fall closed again.

"You're an excellent investigator..."

"That's not the reason!" Paul interrupted

When Alva opened his eyes again Paul had moved to a mere step away.

"You've held the truth from me," Paul said in a quiet voice. "No more, Alva. It's the truth, the whole truth, and no sin of omission leaving anything out. If you can't be completely open with me then we shouldn't be together."

The final words made Alva's breath catch in his lungs.

"This has nothing to do with our working relationship," Alva countered.

Paul's fingers closed gently around Alva's wrist, white knuckled against the sink edge.

"Then it's even more important for you to tell me." He moved in close, moving into Alva's personal space. "Tell me... I won't judge you. Whatever you say, it's all right. I just need to hear you say it."

Alva's body thrummed with barely restrained energy - it coiled in him and it was all he could do to remain motionless.

"Please..." Alva whispered, near to trembling with the effort required to take this tiny yet huge step. "Don't leave me."

He moved in the tiniest amount, tilting his head just so, and Paul met him halfway - kissing ardently, one hand still binding Alva's wrist as the other buried in his hair, pulling him closer.

Alva sank into the kiss, bursting with gratitude and relief.

There was an impatience, a voracious hunger to the kiss, and yet there was an incredible sense of peace washing over Alva. He wasn't losing Paul. He wouldn't lose him. He'd been so afraid, but Paul was his now. He didn't need to fear anything.

As the kiss broke, Paul's thumb swiped over Alva's pulse point on his wrist, slow motions that meant to calm, but just kept Alva's heart racing.

"I'm not going anywhere," Paul told him. Alva merely nodded his understanding, fighting down a nameless joy that bubbled up inside him. "But you?" Paul continued. "You need some real sleep." He tugged Alva by the wrist to come with him. "We'll tell Evie we're taking a day off. You deserve one."

Alva opened his mouth to protest - ever the boss - then shut it, smiling.

He closed his office door behind him, grabbing his coat as Paul did the same. "An excellent suggestion."

Paul smirked and paused to deliver a brief yet tender kiss. "I'm glad you see things my way."

They headed for the door, Alva feeling a smile grace his face.

"I rather like your way."

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on February 19th, 2010 10:28 am (UTC)
I confess this was just a little ficlet I dashed off during a group chat with melissima and t_vo0810 after we group skype watched Paul is Dead together (it was T's first time seeing it - I dragged her into the fandom like I did Mel) and were enjoying a good post-ep shared squee.

I hadn't planned on publishing it, but Mel and T read it and I sent it to deejay to entertain her while she was laid up so it seemed silly that pretty much half of the people I knew in the fandom had already read it so why not publish it?

So forgive it being a) slashy (I normally only write gen with these two) and b) not quite up to my usual quality. I decided to publish the same version I wrote in chat without modification because if I start futzing with this I'll for sure never get it out.


Emma DeMarais
deejay/"alvafan": miracles stalkerdeejay on February 19th, 2010 04:27 pm (UTC)
*flaily hands*
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on February 19th, 2010 10:10 pm (UTC)
Hee! ♥ (Also, iconnage!)

You know now that I have Mel and T on board I might just have to slash these two more often. I may prefer gen, but they keep helping me see the spark. /grins/
deejay/"alvafan": alva keel workingdeejay on February 19th, 2010 11:53 pm (UTC)
We should get all the 'Miracles' fans together in a chatroom sometime. \o/
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on February 20th, 2010 12:10 am (UTC)
That would be awesome!

Mel has a chatroom that we use for Numb3rs chats that I'm sure would be good for Miracles too (especially since four of us in that N3 chat are also Miracles fans).

If you want to check it out, here's the url.

BiP: Jericho: Jakeboysinperil on February 19th, 2010 05:39 pm (UTC)
Lovely, lovely, and I am shaking my head with amusement that Alva still didn't do what Paul asked and talk about what was wrong. :D He seems very much like that kind of guy, who will figure a kiss = words.

Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on February 19th, 2010 10:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Yes, you're quite right, but Paul at least realizes that the infinitesimal bit he did get out of stoic Alva was a huge leap, so he understands.

Perhaps after a little training? Hehehe Paul can be rather persuasive.
laurel: skeet - paulsailorhathor on February 20th, 2010 02:56 am (UTC)
Heh, I knew this had to be written for Deejay. :D
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on February 20th, 2010 03:17 am (UTC)
Technically it wasn't - it was written for Mel and T, but it was so painfully obvious that Deejay would like it it felt criminal NOT to send it to her! ROFL
laurel: skeet - sweet skeet meatsailorhathor on February 20th, 2010 03:28 am (UTC)
Shhh, you're not supposed to tell her that. ;)
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on February 20th, 2010 03:32 am (UTC)

Too late! /grins/
Karen: wh13 cookiesbyrons_brain on February 20th, 2010 10:04 am (UTC)
Oh my, great fic... I really miss miracles....