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28 November 2005 @ 02:54 am
Numb3rs Fic: Never Tell - Part 2  
Written for numb3rsflashfic Challenge #3 - Secrets

Title: Never Tell - Part 2
Series/Universe: Never Tell Series
Pairing/Characters: Charlie/OFC
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Uncertainty Principle
Summary: Charlie has a secret he'll never tell
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

Previous comments are housed at numb3rsflashfic.

Charlie never talked about what really happened those three months he spent in the garage.

Everyone acts like he never left that dank and chalk dusty room.

He did.

He just never told anyone where he went.



Devoid of any feeling...

It started simply. He looked down one day and realized he'd been jabbing his arm with a steak knife, absentmindedly picked up from the dinner tray his father had brought out for him, and not noticed any pain.

Dully amazed, he kept doing it, progressively harder, filled with an almost apathetic wonder as to why he felt nothing. He realized he was so completely detached, he was disconnected from his own body.

He wasn't sure when he'd stopped feeling, only that he had.

Some part of him realized that being numb wasn't a good thing. It didn’t feel bad though. It didn't feel good either. It simply felt like nothing.

Attractive as that oblivion seemed at the time, Charlie knew he needed to feel so he could be there for his mother, his family... Try to at least...

Always good with computers, it didn't take long to locate a friend of a friend of a friend online who knew about a secret place, a person, someone who could help him...

Everyone always went to bed early. That made it easy to leave. He'd just ask the cab company to pick him up at the corner instead of out front, and he'd slip away into the darkness.

The first time he met with his mistress, as she asked to be called, he merely listed his requests in a monotone, not even looking at her. She almost didn't take him on as a client, worried he was too far gone. Charlie offered to pay her more and she tried to make him understand it wasn't about money. She agreed to do one session with him, just to see how it went.

Charlie went home that night, rolled into a ball on the old cot in the garage, and cried for hours, sobs wracking his battered body.

He managed to glance her way the next time he came, and asked her for more. She relented, and for the first time, was the one to set the boundaries with one of her clients. Charlie didn't think there was any need for them, which unnerved her, but not enough to turn him away.

He wore a lot of long sleeve shirts during that time period, and always wore long pants, no matter how warm it got. The welts wouldn’t stay red for long, and there were never any real scars, just abrasions from the ropes or chafing from the cuffs. She was a professional, so he never had to resort to turtlenecks, never bore any visible signs on his face or hands of his nocturnal activities... No one ever suspected a thing. He just felt and that was enough.

Then it ended.

Don came to tell him the news and it all fell apart.

He simply stopped showing up and she knew better than to come looking for him.

He went back to work eventually, after the funeral, and threw himself into his classes and research. His T.A.s had to ask him to let them help, he seemed so determined to do it all himself. Larry had tried to take him aside, Amita too, and he'd merely brushed them off with the same worn out phrases he'd been using on Don and his father.

Exhausted, he fell asleep in front of the television one night while grading papers. His father had gone to bed early and left the set on a cable channel that aired adult movies after hours. He woke up to a fairly graphic sex scene and stared at the screen for a while before reaching for the phone.

The cab company picked him up on the corner as usual.

This time he looked her in the eye when he told her what he came for. She was hesitant; in the three months he'd come to see her, they'd never had any sexual relations. Now after being away all that time... She asked him twice if he was sure and he never wavered.

She gave him what he asked for and he paid her for her services.

Two weeks after he started seeing her again, he started having dinner with Larry.

A month later, he started having lunch with Amita.

One evening he found himself in a bar with Don and a bunch of his baseball buddies, laughing at some of their stories.


He went to her one final time, even though he figured he didn't really have to. In some way, he needed to be sure that she had nothing left to offer him, or rather that he truly no longer needed her.

The evening progressed as usual. He was stripped, bound and loosely gagged - arranged how she wanted him. She varied her routine each time, always keeping him guessing, off balance...

She teased him with hot candle wax and ice, pulled his hair until his eyes watered, fucked him hard with a strap-on but refused to let him come, soothed him with warm massage oil, then brought out her rubber flogger.

She started slowly and easily, hitting the backs of his thighs and making him jump. She moved up to his ass and began to strike harder, watching his skin redden with each stroke.

Inspired, she began to move around him in a circle, flogging at random. Across the nipples, a shoulder blade, the front of his thighs... She sped up, striking faster and harder as she moved.

Somewhere deep inside Charlie's mind, there was a sudden snap and his eyes flew open, flooded with sudden awareness.

He spit out his gag and yelled his safeword.

She stopped immediately and stared at him. Unexpected as it had been - he'd only agreed on a safeword in the beginning because she made it mandatory - somehow she understood. She gently released him from his bonds, and led him over to her bed. She wrapped herself around him and he buried his face in her chest, as they lay motionless for quite some time. When he was finally ready, he lifted his face and kissed her. It was the first time she'd ever kissed a client.

She stripped off all her gear until she was also naked, and they had sex - real sex - for the first time ever, as if they were normal lovers. He took great care to please her and himself, noticing so much more around him than he had in months, drinking in all the sights and sensations as if the world has sudden come back into color after being only gray.

He kissed her before he left, wistful at the thought of their parting.

He didn't pay her that last time. She wouldn't have accepted it even if he'd tried.

A couple of months later, an attractive professor from Cambridge visiting for a conference asked Charlie up to her hotel room for drinks.

He went.

The sex was great and two days later, she flew back to London.

Larry guessed at what happened and teased him about it, but Charlie only smiled and said nothing.


No one noticed when Charlie left during those three months.

They all noticed when he came back to them though.

Charlie most of all.

Keylaneverbelonged on January 8th, 2006 08:31 am (UTC)
/dies/ that was awesome. very well written. loved it.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on January 8th, 2006 11:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks... Nice to know the non-slash fic can get some love as well...
Keylaneverbelonged on January 8th, 2006 11:18 pm (UTC)
hey hey. im not strictly into just the don/charlie or the slashy. if the summary or the writer strikes me as good I'll read almost anything... but het. /shivers/ /giggles/ that is just weird.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on January 9th, 2006 05:54 pm (UTC)
Hey, at least this was *kinky* het! ;-)
Keylaneverbelonged on January 9th, 2006 08:56 pm (UTC)
i know! lol. that was all good. hehe. but i mean het, with two characters from the show... after I discovered slash I wondered why I ever wanted to pair sam and jack. (my only EVER het pairing). lol. :) and it had charlie so it was all good.
fredbassettfredbassett on November 2nd, 2007 09:48 pm (UTC)
Oh lod, I just read het and enjoyed it! *grins*. Only joking, I do read het sometimes, and this was good :)
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on November 3rd, 2007 12:35 am (UTC)
It's *kinky* het. You're allowed. /winks/