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04 November 2010 @ 09:28 pm
White Collar Fic: Taster's Choice  
Posted to whitecollarfic

Title: Taster's Choice
Pairing/Characters: Peter/Elizabeth/Neal
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Pilot
Summary: Neal doesn't realize the invitation to dinner includes a show
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

"Elle? I'm home!" Peter called out walking through the front door, one hand taking his overcoat off, the other staving off the affections of Satchmo so dog slobber wouldn't mar his freshly dry cleaned suit pants. "And I brought Neal's palate like you asked." His glance darted back to where Neal was doffing his hat with his classic smirk. "Unfortunately that meant the rest of him came too."

Elizabeth appeared from the kitchen and gave Peter a welcome home kiss. "Now, now, honey. Don't be a bad host," she scoffed, more playfully than admonishing. "Neal's doing me a favor." She turned to greet Neal next. "And it's much appreciated."

"Happy to lend my palate to the cause," Neal told her with a bow and a little flourish. "I can bear a little pate if it's for you, Elle."

"Such a hardship," she mocked, gesturing them to the table which was already laid out for them. "I'll bring out the wine I decanted earlier and we can get started."

They walked over to the table and Peter put out a hand to halt Neal from taking a chair. "That's my seat."

"Sorry, my bad!" Neal raised his hands in surrender as he moved to the next chair.

"And that's Elle's," Peter pointed out.

"Assigned seating at the dinner table," Neal mused as he kept moving to the chair across from Peter's. "How long have you been married again? You might want to try shaking things up a bit."

"I know how to keep my marriage lively, thank you very much," Peter retorted.

When Neal pointed to the third chair, asking wordlessly if that one was all right to sit in, Peter gestured him into it and they both sat just in time for Elizabeth to return with the wine. Neal made to rise, but Elizabeth waved him down.

"Sit," she huffed, rolling her eyes. "If you try to get up every time I come and go you'll never be sitting down. I tend to run back into the kitchen a lot for these tasting things." She poured wine into all three of their glasses and Neal raised his in a toast.

"To excellent food and good company..."

Peter raised his glass as Elizabeth did the same, settling into the feel of being at home and finally off the clock.

"I'll drink to that!"


After pate and foie gras, after caviar and wine, and long after the chafing dishes had been turned off, the three sat around the spent table pleasantly melted over their chairs, enjoying the satiety of the luxurious meal.

"I am so using this caterer." Elizabeth's words came out almost more of a groan as her head lolled against the back of her chair.

"If you do, I'm definitely crashing whatever event you use them for," Neal added, similarly liquid in his own seat.

"Or you could just go to the catering company and swindle what you wanted to eat," Peter pointed out, his tone teasing.

Neal pretended to be shocked. "Why, Peter! Are you, as an FBI agent, advocating me breaking a law?"

"A..." Peter intoned, swirling the last of his wine in his glass, "I'm off duty at home." He pointedly ignored a snort of derision from Neal and a snicker from Elizabeth. "And B, I have every confidence you wouldn't even have to steal from them. You'd just show up with some sort of con and charm the pants off them so they'd give you the food!"

"I should bring you with me to my next catering interview," Elizabeth piped up, chuckling. "If they throw free food at you I want to be there!"

"They only actually throw it when you make the mistake of flirting with the owner's daughter," Neal noted, sitting back in his chair with a contented sigh. "But I must admit I've had plenty of fabulous meals in my life I didn't pay for." He gestured to his plate. "And this? Was one of them."

"Well, thank you for your input," Elizabeth said, tipping the wine glass in her hand in his direction. "I agree with your ideas on the order of the courses and swapping out the caviar with a less salty version for the amuse bouche."

"Don't forget the duck!" Neal pointed out. "That was the only thing they really needed to change their approach on."

"Agreed," Peter piped up. "If you're going to do crispy duck, do crispy duck. Don't make it crispy then drown it in sauce so it gets limp again."

"My husband, the gourmand," Elizabeth taunted, squeezing his hand. Peter picked their joined hands up and placed a kiss on the back of hers, offering her a little smile in return. In a fit of playfulness, he tugged her arm nearer and kissed his way all the way up her arm leaving her in a fit of giggles.

"Enough with the Addams Family routine," she teased, still grinning. "I may have to start spouting off French otherwise."

"Cara mia," Peter murmured with his best Gomez Addams impression then proceeded to kiss his way up her arm again then growling as he ravished her neck, reveling in her delighted laughter as he nibbled on her ear.

"You didn't tell me this was going to be dinner and a show," Neal snarked.

Peter glanced over to find him watching intently, mostly amused, but clearly engaged. Feeling puckish, he took Elizabeth's hand, still in his, and brought it to his mouth, kissing the palm and wrist between his words. "Elle... She's the best dessert... Always my final course..."

"She probably does go well with wine." Neal polished off the last mouthful in his goblet and took hold of Elizabeth's free hand on the other side. He gently opened up her fingers to reveal her palm and bent over, pressing a slow sensual kiss to it, clearly taking his time. "Yes, I believe she's a fine vintage," he stated, straightening up again, but still keeping hold of her hand. "But I think it's best to taste drive her with black coffee as well."

Elizabeth extracted both hands from both men.

"I'll be back with the coffee then." A sly glance at both of them and then she slipped away, leaving the men to face each other across the table.

"Elle's my wife," Peter said, his tone friendly but the warning clear beneath it.

Neal put up his hands in defense. "Don't want the deed, just a tour. Nothing wrong with showing my appreciation is there? No harm, no foul, no strings."

"No funny business," Peter added.

"Just fun," Neal replied, eyes sparkling with mischief as Elizabeth returned with a tray of coffee cups and small plates with lavish and rather ornate desserts on them.

"So," she said, setting the tray down, "are we ready to try out their dessert menu?"


"Oh my god..." Peter put his fork down after the last bite of dessert. "That cheesecake just about killed me."

"I tell you, Peter..." Neal pointed lazily with his fork. "You're missing out by skipping the Key Lime Tart."

Peter waved him off. "I'm just not a lime guy." He wasn't ready for the reaction, but both Neal and Elizabeth stared at him for a split second then burst into raucous laughter. "What?"

"Sorry, sweetie." Elizabeth forced back her laughter to be able to talk. "It's just..." She laughed anew and Neal had to pick up.

"It's just lime is kind of a sexual slang term, that's all," Neal admitted.

"It could be worse, hon," Elizabeth consoled. "You could have said lemon."

Neal laughed all over again. "Oh, I'm sure you two are all kinds of citrusy when I'm not around!"

A whole new round of laughter enveloped the both of them and Peter scowled at being left out by their mirth. "Am I going to have to drag out my laptop to look it up?" he huffed.

"It's nothing, really." Neal waved a hand dismissively. "Just consider lemon as NC17 graphic sex and lime as more of a tasteful R and you've got the gist of it."

"And yes," Elizabeth told Neal. "There's all sorts of citrusy goodness here at Chez Burke." She gave Peter a knowing wink then rose from her chair to sit on his lap, curling her arms around his neck.

"Ah," Neal sat back in his chair. "So there's to be a demonstration then?"

"Maybe," Elizabeth said coyly, grazing her teeth over Peter's earlobe as he shifted slightly in the chair beneath her. "Although I wouldn't think ladies man Neal Caffrey would need instruction."

Neal let out a bemused laugh. "Instruction? No. But I am a master of the fine arts and I have to say that voyeurism? Is one very fine art."

"Elle..." Peter failed to draw her attention away from Neal, some sort of unspoken communication passing between their gazes.

"What's your stance on exhibitionism then?" she asked Neal.

"Like yin and yang," he offered. "The best of both worlds is to have a voyeur enjoying the performance of exhibitionists."

"Oh really?" Elizabeth shifted so she was sitting astride Peter's lap facing away from him, her visual attention still on Neal as she rubbed her ass against Peter's lap through her flimsy skirt. "Tell me about one of your more exceptional yin yang moments then."

Neal's eyes flicked to Peter's briefly, as if checking in with him, but Peter seemed unable to raise the stern look needed to tell him to back off, Elizabeth's not so subtle grinding becoming wholly distracting.

"Well, it was in Greece," Neal began slowly. "Beautiful countryside in Greece. You can walk for miles and not see anyone save maybe a lonely shepherd. In my case I stumbled upon a shepherd and his lover - al fresco."

Elizabeth drew up the back of her skirt to reveal her bare ass beneath - no panties, not even a thong.

"Go on," she urged, purposefully rubbing her bare skin over the now more than apparent bulge in Peter's dress slacks.

"At first all I heard were noises," Neal's voice dropped into a more suggestive register and Elizabeth's actions seemed egged on by his voice. "But as I crested a low hill I could see them down below on the other side."

Elizabeth's motions were insistent and Peter finally caved once he made sure Neal couldn't actually see anything from where he sat across the table. He quietly unbuttoned and unzipped his slacks and eased his stiff cock free, a hand on Elizabeth's ass to still her as he lined up to her entry.

"How far away were they?" Elizabeth's last word was choked off as Peter slid into her all at once, pulling her down onto his lap to fill her completely.

Peter could only see Elizabeth's back so he shifted his gaze to Neal in time to watch him swallow hard.

"Only about thirty feet," Neal finally managed. The hand that had held his dessert fork slid off the table into his lap and Peter almost chuckled. "The woman? She spotted me right away, but the man didn't."

Elizabeth had set up a slow rhythm, lifting herself off Peter's lap and lowering herself down again.

"What did she do?" she asked, breathless.

"We locked eyes." Peter could swear he hear Neal's zipper lower and the subtly soft sounds of movement confirmed Neal was taking matters into his own hands. He shifted one hand to Elizabeth's hip to speed her motions and snaked the other around to tease at the edges of her clit until he was ready to make her come. "I looked at her and she looked at me, completely lost in the throes of passion. Her mouth was open in a beautiful wordless O. The shepherd had her bent over a rock and was grasping her bare breasts as he thrust into her."

Elizabeth removed one hand from the table - the other still needed to brace herself against Peter's escalating efforts - and slipped it beneath her blouse, caressing her own breast.

"Did you want her?" Elizabeth barely managed, her voice not much more than breath as her body rocked under Peter's quickening fingers.

"I did," Neal answered, almost as breathless. "If I could have I'd have gone down there and kissed that luscious mouth, tasted that ecstasy on her tongue..."

That was the moment that Peter decided to push Elizabeth over the edge, slipping two fingers into her wetness to stroke her, watching the jolt go through her body and feeling it as the reverberations hit his, triggering his own welcome release.

Through the haze of his own completion Peter saw Neal all but leap out of his seat and bury a hand in Elizabeth's hair, crushing their mouths together in a wild almost desperate kiss.

Then they all but fell apart, Neal collapsing back into his own chair and Elizabeth melting back onto Peter's lap, still gasping for air as she recovered.

After a moment Peter saw Neal wipe his hands on his napkin and heard him zip up his pants again. With a little nudge, Elizabeth slipped off him and went back to her own chair, letting him clean up and close up as well as she adjusted her skirt.

Neal was the one to break the silence, clearing his throat.


"Neal?" Peter just raised an eyebrow at him, not willing to help him out in the least and amused at watching how he'd handle himself after all this.

"Thanks for the tour."

Peter almost snorted as Elizabeth looked between the two of them, confused.

"Just a reminder, the place isn't for sale," Peter tossed back, though with less of a warning in his voice than before.

"Duly noted," Neal told him with a nod before turning to Elizabeth. "Thank you for your hospitality," he told her with a playful formality. "I had a lovely time."

"I enjoyed your... story..." Elizabeth gave him a wink. "Next time I need to vet a new caterer we'll have to see if you've got another good tale to tell."

"Oh, I'm full of them," Neal boasted with relish. He pushed back his chair and rose, taking them both in his gaze. "But for now? I'll see myself out and leave you two to..."

"The dishes?" Elizabeth suggested with a laugh.

Neal bowed his head. "I'd be more than happy to do all the washing up."

Elizabeth waved him off. "Not to worry. I hired a service to come in the morning to do all the cleaning."

"That's one brilliant woman you've got there," Neal told Peter, his compliment entirely sincere. "You're a lucky man."

"That I am," Peter agreed.

"Good night and thank you again." Neal smiled his farewells and headed for the door.

"Take care," Elizabeth called after him.

"Don't be late tomorrow," Peter added, chuckling. "I won't take 'I had too much wine at dinner last night' as an excuse."

Neal popped his head back in, donning his hat in the process. "What wine? What dinner?"

"Good answer!" Peter felt the last remaining bit of tension from worry leave his body and he signed contentedly in his chair as he heard the door close behind Neal's exit. "Elle..." he began only to have her shift back into his lap, this time facing him and putting a finger over his lips.

"No comments from the peanut gallery, buster," she told him. "Let's just head up to bed and see about round two."

When she removed her finger he spoke anyway.

"You let Neal kiss you."

"He's lonely," she responded, rising and tugging his hand to pull him towards the stairs. "And I'm not saying I want to have sex with him - which he'd probably turn down since he's still in love with Kate - but he's lonely. And while you know guys can easily take care of themselves..." She made a pointed look at his not fully zipped up zipper. "There's one thing you can't do to yourself."

"Oh?" Peter played along, pausing at the base of the stairs to pull her into his arms. "And what would that be?"

Elizabeth melted against him, her lips meeting his in a leisurely kiss that had hints of renewed passion that he was sure would quickly fire up again once they were stripped naked and in the shower together. His hands roamed her body, taking in the curves that excited his own need anew.

"No matter how pretty Neal is," she whispered against his lips. "No matter how talented..."

Peter swept Elizabeth up in his arms to carry her upstairs, a smug grin on his face as he leaned down to give her a quick kiss on her upturned lips.

"He can't kiss himself."

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on November 5th, 2010 04:28 am (UTC)
Yes, I'm finally getting around to publishing some of the longer WC fic I've had written and sitting around on my hard drive for ages!

I wrote this piece for my fantabulous housemate isabeau this *summer* and I figured since today is her birthday I should get off my arse and publish it so she can enjoy it anew.

Happy Birthday Isa!


Emma DeMarais
a cat named Tempestisabeau on November 5th, 2010 05:24 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
\o/ eeeeyay
Dani: Random Happy Birthdayumbralillium on November 5th, 2010 07:22 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
Happy birthday, Isa!
Buggy: White Collar Neal winktoomuchfandom on November 5th, 2010 11:55 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
Happy Birthday Isa:D
Dani: WC OTP kissumbralillium on November 5th, 2010 07:23 am (UTC)
NGH. GUH. Bunk. I needs it. Now.
Buggy: White Collar Peter pat nealtoomuchfandom on November 5th, 2010 11:55 am (UTC)


*fans self*

This was awesome!
rubynye: Tilly (Hyel)rubynye on November 5th, 2010 05:54 pm (UTC)
This is the most canon threesome I've ever read for this fandom.

It's also gorgeously hot and inventive and sheer FUN, but eeee I love how I can really truly believe this falls between the scenes in almost any episode.
monkeyonthelam: whitecollarmonkeyonthelam on November 8th, 2010 12:21 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed reading that. Elizabeth is compassionate and considerate in this fic just as much as I think she is in the show. Well done. Thanks for writing.
SamuelJames: White Collar-Neal Caffreysamueljames on November 9th, 2010 01:06 am (UTC)
secretsolitairesecretsolitaire on November 13th, 2010 03:57 am (UTC)
This is very nicely done. :-)
hoosierbitchhoosierbitch on November 13th, 2010 04:33 pm (UTC)
*happy sigh*

Delicious. Loved the description of the food, and the beginning, and the HOTNESS, and especially: that last line.

*happy sigh*
ladygray99ladygray99 on December 28th, 2010 01:18 pm (UTC)
This was melting hot and sweet with just a touch of sad. Perfect.