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06 November 2010 @ 09:16 pm
Torchwood/White Collar Fic: Gang of Two  
Written for rounds_of_kink - Round Seventeen
11/2/10 Prompt Jack Harkness/Neal Caffrey
Despite the uniforms they know on sight that they're both just con men underneath it all
Military fetishization
Crossposted to torchwoodslash and whitecollarfic

Title: Gang of Two
Pairing/Characters: Jack/Neal
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Pilot (Torchwood), Pilot (White Collar)
Summary: Jack discovers a fellow con man working a function for military men only
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

Other comments are housed at rounds_of_kink.

There are advantages to being the best looking man in the room: Jack knows this because he's used pretty much all of them.

There are advantages even in a room full of straight men, very straight military men to be precise.

Only someone else appears to have already filled that slot.

Captain Jack Harkness isn't known primarily for his vanity, but it's up there on the list. Jack considers his attractiveness - both visual and biochemical - to be a fact of life, a tool to be used.

This man? Is definitely prettier. And younger, damn him.

Whoever he is he picked the best spot in the hall - where everyone will see him as soon as they walk in: see him holding court, keeping the other men rapt with his stories and gestures. If someone pointed out that they were all eating out of the palm of his hand they'd all scoff and threaten violence, but it's the truth.

This is Jack's first clue that the man in the lieutenant's uniform is not an actual military man.

The second clue is the uniform itself; it fits him too well, looks smashing on him, and had to have been custom tailored at least in the jacket to look that perfect.

Jack's not used to competition, but he has a healthy regard for it. To the winner goes the spoils and he has an eye to make this evening's competitor his reward.

He puts on his most blinding smile and the crowd parts for him as if he were Moses.

The second the man sets eyes on Jack, he knows. The reaction would have been invisible to anyone other than a fellow con-man, but he knows.

He's been made.

"Captain Jack Harkness," Jack states, introducing himself as he holds out his hand to shake, ignoring the fact that he's walked into and interrupted an ongoing conversation.

"Lieutenant Nick Halden," the man replies without missing a beat. His handshake is firm and friendly, but his body language is ever so slightly guarded, as if he doesn't know what to make of Jack and is ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble.

Jack just smiles more at the idea of having him on the ropes.

"A young lady they stopped at the door asked me to get a message through to a Lieutenant Halden. I asked her how I'd know, out of all the men here, which one he was. She said, 'just look for the prettiest man in the room.'"

There's a serious round of laughter, which this Nick character joins in on expertly - keeping from being the butt of the joke by being in on it.

"What can I say?" He splays his hands out to the men. "The women... They just won't leave me alone."

"How about I give you the message in private, Romeo?" Jack's voice is light and teasing, yet his hand on the man's shoulder is more than a suggestion, leading him away from the crowd towards the service entrance to the kitchen.

After a few gestured farewells the two of them pass into and through the kitchen and through a door marked 'authorized personnel only.' It looks like an administrative office, but it isn't much more than a mostly barren wooden desk, a couple of file cabinets and a coat rack with a lone dusty cap left behind hanging on it.

"So... Let's start with the fact that I know you're not a lieutenant," Jack begins.

To his credit, the other man just sits on the edge of the desk, looking smarmy yet unafraid.

"I could say the same for you - Captain." His smirk is like looking into a mirror, blue eyes meeting blue eyes over a crooked grin.

"What are you here for?"

"Tit for tat?"

Jack cocks his head at the offer.


"You first." The gesture to proceed is with an overt flourish, one Jack has no intention of obeying.

"Ha! No." Jack moves in closer, looming over the seated man. "Why don't we skip ahead to your real name? Because I know it's not Nick."

"And you're not Jack."

Any lightness remaining disappears from Jack's tone as his expression turns stern. "Answer the question."

Several seconds of silence passes between them.


Jack lets out a breath, bringing a smile back to his face now that he's established a precedent. First question answered means all of them answered - in time. "Nice to meet you, Neal. Now tell me what you're up to."

Neal hedges. "It's a matter of some delicacy." At Jack's impatient gesture, Neal lets out a resigned sigh and explains. "I found out a man attending this event was in possession of some very unfortunate pictures of a friend of mine."


He nods. "He bragged that he kept them on his person at all times so he could make good on his threat to expose my friend whenever he wanted."

"And you were going to steal them?"

Neal pulls out a silver cigarette case monogrammed with the initials RT and lays it on the desk.

"I had this lifted and the pictures burned within ten minutes of walking through the front door."

Jack just stares at him. Any other con-man would have been out of there in a heartbeat once the job was done. Stay and risk getting caught; it was like breaking some sort of unwritten con artist code.

"So why did you stick around?"

Neal lets out a bemused chuckle. "The night is young! There's still a good time to be had. And besides..." He stands up which puts him close enough to Jack that their clothes just slightly brush each other. "I love a man in uniform." Neal reaches out and smooths the lapel of Jack's greatcoat, the motion almost a caress in appreciation of the garment. "Great coat by the way."

"Oh..." Jack can barely contain his mirth at Neal's moves. "You're good."

"You're better," Neal offers and Jack really is a sucker for flattery. "So... Any chance you might, you know, stick around?" He looks up at Jack, eyes almost coy under dark lashes. It's a game Jack knows well - make the other guy think he's winning while you're getting exactly what you want - but it can also be a very pleasurable game.

"I'm considering dallying a while," Jack offers, cagy yet playful. He pretends to adjust Neal's perfect suit. "So... Who's your tailor? The alterations to that uniform must have set you back a few."

Neal shrugs. "I know a guy."

"Regardless, my compliments. There's something to be said..." Jack lets his hands flatten against Neal's chest, clearly shifting his interest from the clothing to the body beneath. "...for a man who really knows a man's shape."

Neal moves in just a tiny bit closer, bringing their bodies into contact, the air between them heated and charged with electrical tension.

"Wait until you see the shirt."

"Really?" Jack's hands go to the buttons on Neal's jacket, almost having to squeeze his hands between them to undo them. He pushes the coat off Neal's shoulders and Neal shakes it off to let it fall to the desk. "Custom buttons?" Jack slips the necktie off Neal's neck and starts unbuttoning his shirt. Unlike Jack, he wears nothing beneath his button up shirt and the unveiling reveals a lean tanned chest and a taut set of muscles.

"I only want the best." Neal's voice is breathy with impatience, but Jack takes his time, undoing each cuff one by one before he pulls the shirt off, leaving Neal shirtless and Jack still pristine.

Jack finally steps back, taking his coat off and putting it on the rack, trying to maintain an air of carelessness when he's feeling the need as much as Neal has to be. He splays out his hands in a kind of self-gesture. "Happy to oblige."

As he steps forward Neal comes to him and they come together all at once, Jack's hands drinking in the expanse of Neal's bare skin as they kiss hungrily, each trying to devour the other. Jack walks them back the few steps to the wall and presses Neal into it, using his greater height and weight to pin him completely as Neal's hands greedily yank his shirt out of his trousers.

Neal's hands are hot on his back, blunt nails scratching with just the right amount of encouragement. They slip easily into a groove, cocks aligned between them, frantic friction escalating to almost incendiary levels.

It's Neal who breaks, pushing Jack back enough to open both their trousers, only Jack takes over - takes matters into his own hands. A few quick strokes and Neal's gasping for air, eyes gone wild with raw need. It's such a pretty sight, but Jack's got his own impatience to deal with.

Neal grabs him and pulls their bodies back into contact and the hunt for friction begins anew, this time with twin cocks sliding in tandem against sweat-slicked bellies. Neal's fingers clutch Jack's biceps as he buries his face in Jack's neck, the first to surrender.

His teeth bite down gently on Jack's shoulder as he shudders his way through blissful tremors.

Then it feels as if Neal melts against him, turning so liquid he flows into a puddle at the floor.

Only that's just his idea for what comes next.

Jack feels Neal's lips encircle his cock and braces his hands on the wall, braces himself as pleasure spikes down low, coiling in his gut as the fuse is lit on the explosion waiting to go off.

Neal's good, god is he good. That mouth is talented in more ways than conning can contain.

Jack bites his lip to keep from making too much noise and struggles not to snap his hips in time with the expert sucking, desperate to fuck Neal's mouth.

Neal's clever hands busy themselves with tugging Jack's trousers down further before he slides one dexterous digit in, stroking the one spot inside sure to send him over the edge.

The guttural noise that falls from Jack's mouth can't be stopped so he lets go, eyes wide and unseeing as his body goes taut, electrical ecstasy ricocheting through his whole body then, sure as a light switch snaps off, it's over.

Jack slumps down to join Neal on the floor, not sure he can trust his legs anyway, and they sit panting for a while.

"So..." Neal manages between gulps of air. "I've got a nice hotel room not far from here. You up for a nightcap?"

Jack just laughs. The night is young after all and few offers would be more tantalizing than hours in bed with this young stud who plays at being him, yet does it so very well.

"I think I could use a drink," he says, leaning against the wall beside Neal, hand resting almost possessively on Neal's thigh.

This could be a memorable night, he thinks. Only since he's got a little something to put in Neal's drink later, he'll be the only one to remember it.

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on November 7th, 2010 04:17 am (UTC)
Okay, so I confess I failed on getting this fic done for the Summer Heat round at rounds_of_kink. /hangs head/ The original prompts were as follows:

RoK Summer Heat Round
Prompts: delicacy, melt, coalesce, faux pas
Kinks: Dominance and submission, Friction or frottage (naked or clothed; masturbatory or with partner; cocks rubbing together; tribadism; intercrural sex; someone rubbing off on sheets while giving head or being fucked; itchiness and scratching; chafing clothes; friction while on horseback or riding a motorcycle; accidental contact)

So I managed the friction/frottage part! I just didn't manage to get the fic done by the final day of the round *and* I blew it on making it in on time for the last Amnesty Round of the year. /headdesk/

So what's a girl to do... But cheat. /big grin/

I confess I basically prompted for this fic so I could fulfill it with my already finished fic.

And then I went *really* lame and neglected to post it *on the day I picked out for posting*


Really, this semester's 17 units destroyed my brain. If I ever try to pull a stunt like that again, someone smack some sense into me and talk me down to at least 15 easy units or something. /shakes head at self/

So I claimed my own prompt. That doesn't make me a bad person. Prompting for a fic that I'd already written makes me a naughty girl. Hehehe (Sorry, Andrea! I'll do better next year!)

Title (and more than a bit of the content /grins/) inspired by the Gang of Four song I Love a Man in Uniform.


Emma DeMarais
.afiawri on November 7th, 2010 02:25 pm (UTC)
That was some HOT stuff. I loved your descriptions of how they moved- hell, even how they moved from public to private and maneuvered into sex. This fic had a beautiful smoothness in its flow. Oh, also, it was hot. Extreemly hot.
rubynye: Bull-Leaper (by Baranduin)rubynye on November 8th, 2010 08:30 pm (UTC)

This is made of details and deliciousness, but oh, I want to smack Jack whenever he whips out the Retcon!
Brilliance of the Moon: neil caffreylongbca on November 8th, 2010 09:16 pm (UTC)
Amazingly hot!
ladygray99ladygray99 on December 26th, 2010 03:49 pm (UTC)
I read this when you posted and didn't get a chance to comment, or possibly my brain just imploded from the hotness of it all. Dear lord you put a lot of pretty on this page. :-)