Log in

No account? Create an account
16 December 2010 @ 11:59 pm
Criminal Minds Fic: Snacks  
Posted to bau_fic
Crossposted to morgan_garcia

Title: Snacks
Pairing/Characters: Derek/Penelope
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Profiler Profiled
Summary: Derek learns Penelope has an almost insatiable appetite
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

Derek barely got through the door into Penelope's apartment before the sight of her stopped him in his tracks.

"Ho Ho Ho my goodness!" His eyes took in the frilly red and green holiday themed apron she wore over a dress that was so skimpy he barely noticed it behind the apron. The necklines of both dress and apron were so low they were like a frame for her perfect porcelain cleavage as she bent over the kitchen counter. "Aren't you a delicious sight?"

"You think I'm delicious looking?" Penelope's voice rumbled in a low suggestive chuckle. "Come look at my Christmas cookies."

"Is that what you've been doing all day? Baking?" As he approached he gave her an affectionate kiss on the cheek.

"Baking is for amateurs," she scoffed. "I have been making culinary works of art!"

Derek turned his attention to the cookies laid out on waxed paper before him. She hadn't been kidding. Even though she'd reused the same tree cookie cutter on all of them each one was hand painted with completely different ornaments. Some were even frosted white instead of green to look snow-covered. A couple were frosted in blue with little dreidl ornaments and a few more were done in brown with a 'Happy Kwanza' banner laid like a garland across the tree.

"Something for everyone," he mused. "So do I get one?"

"They're for the office party tomorrow night." She smacked his hand playfully as he reached for one. "No pilfering. They still have to dry."

"I'm sure they taste just as good wet," Derek murmured in her ear, pressing his body up against hers from behind, earning him a tiny breathy gasp. "Come on. Just a little snack?"

His hands skimmed up the outside of her thighs, nudging her dress hem up as they went.

"Are you sure that's what you're hungry for?" The question was more breathy than her usual snark - proof he'd gotten to her.

"Mmm... Maybe not..." He slid down her body until he was crouched down behind her, pushing her dress up over her ass to reveal a distinct lack of panties. An old style garter belt held up thigh high stockings and he skated his mouth over where the silk ended and her silky skin began.

With a subtle nudge he got her to spread her legs a little wider and bend over the counter. Grabbing her ass cheeks with his hands he dove in, spearing her center with his tongue. The jolt that went through the warm body under his fingers was more than enough encouragement so he licked and probed until he felt her begin to tremble with need.

Standing up suddenly, he opened up his pants and drove into her - pushing her into the counter with the force of his thrusts. Little mewling noises of pleasure met his every movement, every snap of his hips driving them both closer to nirvana.

Shifting his hands around, he slipped his hands beneath the apron to grasp one round globe in each large hand, feeling their perfect heft fill his fingers. A light pinch of her nipples and she went taut beneath him, the sudden shift enough to send him over as well, spilling inside of her as a long satisfied sigh fell from his lips.

They remained there for a moment, catching their breath, Derek's arms wrapped around her middle in a close embrace as they relaxed.

"Oh, I ruined a cookie..."

Derek straightened up, releasing her, to find she'd broken the nearest cookie by carelessly putting her hand on it in the throes. She held up her frosting marred hand and pointed to the tree, broken in half amidst crumbs.

"It was sacrificed for a really good cause," Derek told her, lifting her hand and licking the frosting from it. "A really really good cause."

"Just be glad it wasn't one of the Hanukkah ones," she mock scolded. "I worked hard on the Hebrew characters on the dreidls." She picked up one half of the broken cookie and shoved it into Derek's mouth. "Enjoy your cookie." She picked up the other broken half and nibbled at it as she adjusted her dress, heading towards the refrigerator. "You did bring more milk, right?"

Derek swallowed hard around the big bite of dry cookie he'd taken, mumbling with his mouth full.

"There's no milk?"


"Oh my god, Derek. You didn't tell me your sisters were such good cooks!"

Derek creased his forehead at the spread on his mother's kitchen island.

"This is just the chips and dip phase. The real food doesn't come out until the rest of the guests show up."

"But have you tried these dips? This taco dip is making my salt cravings go through the roof! I can't stop eating it!"

"You sure you're not pregnant, baby girl? Because if dip is making you have cravings."

"Shut up," she said, shoving him playfully. "I get to squee over your family's cooking if I want to. It's not like I have any family recipes to get excited over."

Derek put an arm around her and pressed a kiss to her curls. "You do now. You're welcome to ask my mom and my sisters for all their recipes if it makes you happy."

"What would make me happy would be some quality along time with this salty goodness."

She got a gleam in her eye and a little smile on her face.

"Uh-oh. I know that look." Before Derek could say anything else, Penelope grabbed the bowl of dip in one hand and the front of Derek's shirt with her other, dragging him off to the guest bedroom where they'd been staying since they came for the Christmas holidays.

After closing and locking the door, Penelope swiped a finger through the dip and sucked it suggestively into her mouth.

"Drop your pants."

"What the..."

Penelope swirled her tongue over the tip of her finger.

"I'm hungry, I've got this whole dish of dip and I'm out of chips. Drop 'em."

Derek opened his mouth to protest, glancing back to where his sisters and mother were entering the kitchen and chatting amongst themselves.

"Oh, I'm going to hell," he bemoaned as he let his head fall back against the door and Penelope started working open his pants with her free hand. He finally caved and helped her then jumped a little as she painted a line of cool dip along the length of his cock. He jumped again when her hot mouth took him in, sucking avidly until his shaft was clean.

"Derek?" his mother called from the kitchen.

"Be out in a minute," he called back, grateful he couldn't flush red and be noticed. "Pen..."

"Don't rush me," she scolded. She took a step back, pulled off her sweater and bra and painted the dip on her rosy pink nipples. "Your turn."

She'd barely put the dip aside when he tackled her to the bed, sucking the spicy dip off her breasts as his fingers found their way under her skirt, creating their own heat.

Their fiery tongues battled in their mouths until he devoured her quiet cries of completion and then bit his lip when her hand closed around his cock, finishing him off with just a few slick strokes.

"You get me in so much trouble, woman," he teased. "You know I'm never going to hear the end of it once we walk out that door."

"What? I didn't do anything!" she teased, redressing and primping her appearance. "You, naughty boy, dragged me in there."

"What! I did?" He just laughed, accepting his fate.

"Come on, sugar." She beckoned to him and he rose, putting himself back together again. "I've got an appetite for real food now so let's get back out there and show them who just might be eating for two."

Derek's eyes widened. "You... Are you... I mean..."

Hand on the door, Penelope smirked. "No, but if I can get your sisters thinking that way they'll certainly forget all about our little tryst just now!"

Derek chuckled, letting the last of the tension and worry out of his body.

"Baby girl, I don't know what I'd do if there were another baby girl in my life."

"Buy more dip," Penelope advised, holding out her hand to guide him back out to join the family. "And lots and lots of chocolate."

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 20th, 2010 10:02 am (UTC)
I confess I was supposed to have this fic out about a year ago.

/hangs head/

This was a thank you fic for ficbitch82 who did the art for both my Criminal Minds Big Bang Red Hands Black Heart *and* my Crossover Big Bang (Numb3rs/Firefly) Constant Companion. All that work and I flaked on her thank you present. /hangs head in shame/

I am so sorry, Christie! Really, there's no excuse for a whole year passing without me realizing I hadn't gotten this done. Mea culpa. I am duly shamed.

I at least hope you like it. Your bunny of M/G @ Christmas + food porn was lovely and I really enjoyed writing these two yummy vignettes for you.

Happy holidays and thanks again for your time, your talent and your patience!


Emma DeMarais
ladybelletrist: MG MoreThanFriendsladybelletrist on December 21st, 2010 01:54 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
This was fabulous! I loved the banter!
reseda_3067reseda_3067 on December 20th, 2010 10:57 am (UTC)
Goodness! What a Christmas treat! This was hot and cute too. I kind of wished Penelope was pregnant. They are SO good together, it´s crazy.

Great story! Any chance for more?
Awesomely creepy: morciaheartagirlnamedluna on December 20th, 2010 11:47 am (UTC)
Awesome :) So hot, so them, and the banter tops it all off, it really captures their vibe. Wish they'd let them get to it on the show already, it's getting ridiculous.
rubynye: Tilly (Hyel)rubynye on December 20th, 2010 01:12 pm (UTC)
Wow! This is, there's no other word for it, delicious!
dejladejla on December 20th, 2010 10:39 pm (UTC)
Aww. I loved this! Sooner or later Derek will realize where his heart really is.
csichicky on December 22nd, 2010 05:55 am (UTC)
tottaly amazing hon and a perfect Christmas treat to thanks so much for sharing
Christie: {cm} morgan/garcia light up my lifeficbitch82 on January 4th, 2011 10:14 pm (UTC)
You know... You are absolutely, utterly forgiven for this being late. I told you how much I squealed when I got your e-mail sending me this way? Multiply that by about a thousand and you have where I am now.

I adore this. Seriously. I'd forgotten all about my request of M/G-Christmas-Food-Porn-fic and this has just made my night.

I love your Garcia (and, of course, your Derek...but that's a given, lol.) I love how sassy you write her and how damn perfect she is with Morgan. I love their banter and, of course, the smut... Which was so very good! *fans self* ;)

I honestly can't thank YOU enough for this. I got M/G fic from two pieces of art? An utterly worthy payment, methinks. *saves this in my memories* Thank you so SO much and Happy Holidays to you too! XD
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on January 7th, 2011 11:56 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm so glad you liked it! I figured two vignettes for two pieces of art was a fair trade. I wanted to give you lovely visuals for your head the same way you gave me lovely visuals for my fic! ♥

I do so miss their banter and am glad the show is finally letting them express their love for each other in canon even if the snappy banter has lessened. /sigh/

So for now we have fic and our imaginations and lovely icons like yours /ogles/ to feed our MGness!

Thanks again for everything and Happy New Year!