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25 April 2011 @ 11:58 pm
Criminal Minds Fic: The Best Laid Plans of Moms and Men  
Written for varietypack100 Multi-Fandom Challenge
Emma DeMarais VarietyPack100 Prompt Table
Crossposted to bau_fic

Title: The Best Laid Plans of Moms and Men
Pairing/Characters: JJ/Will, Spencer, OC
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Jones, Memoriam
Summary: Prompt - School
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

"I admit, this isn't the outcome I expected from your children's educational planning."

JJ raised her eyebrow at Spencer, clearly bemused.

"You think?"

Spencer had the good sense to at least look embarrassed. "Well, I remember when you made me Henry's godfather you said it was up to me to make sure he got into at least Yale! And I would have tried, you know, if Henry had shown any signs of wanting to study anything Yale was good for."

"Spence," JJ said evenly. "I'm not upset about Henry going to Tisch School of the Arts at NYU. We've known for a while he wasn't going to go for a more traditional form of education. And we're happy to have him close enough on the East Coast to come home for the holidays"

"So what's wrong then?" Spencer asked.

"Carly!" JJ exclaimed. "All your talk about Cal Tech got her riled up and now she wants to go there!"

"That's great!" Spencer enthused. "It's funny, it almost seems like you made me godfather of the wrong child. Carly's going to make a great scientist."

JJ let out a long groan. "Spence, listen to me. I'm okay with sending my son to New York this fall because he'll be eighteen. But Carly's only sixteen! I am not sending my baby girl three thousand miles away for college!"

Spencer heard Carly trot down the stairs and turned to wave her over.

"Car, how would you feel about postponing going to university for one year and spending that year doing a customized internship with the FBI specializing in forensic science?"

"Oh my god! Are you kidding? I'd love that! No one else in my class will have anywhere near as much experience when I graduate!" She threw her arms around Spencer's neck to hug him. "Thanks, Uncle Spencer." She threw her arms around her mother's neck next, totally missing the stunned and none too pleased look on her face. "Thanks, Mom! You're the best!"

As she flounced off JJ stared Spencer down.

"Well, it means she'll be eighteen when she finally goes away to college and she'll be around for another year of holiday dinners," Spencer said meekly.

"She will," JJ said, mocking a dark and evil expression. "But you might not be."

"What's all this?" Will walked in, hooking his thumb over his shoulder. "Carly's going on to her friends on the phone about working at the FBI?"

"Spencer decided the best solution to her going away to Cal Tech as a minor would be to bribe her to stay around one more year with an internship at the Bureau in Forensic Science."

"Well damn, that's nice of you!" Will said, clapping Spencer on the shoulder as JJ buried her face in her hands. "Thank you, Spencer."

JJ let out a loud noise of frustration. "Doesn't anybody care what I want? Is it so bad for a mother to not want her daughter to go away?"

Her phone chimed with a text and as she read it her scowl turned in to a smile and she relaxed visibly.

"What is it?" Will asked.

"It's from Carly. She's asking me if I think Uncle Spencer will be upset with her if she doesn't wind up going to Cal Tech because Georgetown has a really good forensics program where they work closely with the Bureau." She beamed. "Now that's better." She broke her blissful expression to glare at Spencer. "You know there's only one right answer to this, right?"

Spencer sighed. "I guess no one's going to Cal Tech now."

Will patted him on the shoulder. "Hey, you want kids to go to your alma mater, get out there and start making some babies before you're too old to watch them graduate!"

Spencer's hands flew up in defense. "I quit! I can't even help other people's kids when it comes to college! I'm leaving parenting for hardier folks like you two! I have seven degrees and can speak six languages, but I'm helpless against the logic of Mom."

"Wait a minute," JJ said, eyes narrowing. "Are you implying..."

Will intervened, waving a peacemaking hand between them. "Not implying anything," he told his wife before turning to Spencer, lowering his voice. "Quit while you're ahead, man. The last thing you want is the wrath of Mom. So subject change? Please?"

Spencer nodded and pulled out his portable computer. "JJ, have you seen the latest pictures of Penelope's new baby?"

"No!" JJ squealed, clearly excited. "Let me see!"

Spencer handed over the computer for her to review the photos and accepted a silent high five from Will.

"Nicely played," Will murmured.

"I may not get the Mom thing," Spencer replied, gesturing to how rapt JJ was in looking closely at the pictures. "But Penelope taught me never to underestimate the 'Aww' factor of mothers and babies."

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on April 26th, 2011 08:22 am (UTC)
Just a little ditty I wrote because I could, only it got a bit longer than intended while I was noodling around trying to find some sort of way to end it! LOL

Someone remind me why I no longer write and publish fic the same hour anymore? /sigh/

Title inspired by the Robert Burns poem line (from To A Mouse, On Turning Her Up In Her Nest With The Plough) usually referred to as "the best laid plans of mice and men" sometimes followed by "often go awry" when it's actually "the best laid schemes o' mice an men" followed by the rarely quoted "gang aft agley".

Learn something new every day, eh? ;-)


Emma DeMarais
68luvcarter: pic#10567168468luvcarter on April 26th, 2011 11:52 pm (UTC)
I like this. I love the idea of Uncle Spencer helping the kids.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on April 27th, 2011 08:00 am (UTC)
Thank you! He'd be so adorable!