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09 November 2011 @ 11:32 am
Leverage Fic: This is How a Heart Breaks  
Written for varietypack100 Multi-Fandom Challenge
Emma DeMarais VarietyPack100 Prompt Table
Crossposted to geteven_getfic

Title: This is How a Heart Breaks
Pairing/Characters: Nate/Maggie, Sam
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: The First David Job, The Second David Job
Summary: Prompt - Heart
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

Nate can't hear the words, the diagnosis, though the specialist sitting beside their pediatrician repeats them in what he figures are more layman's terms. He feels them though, they slice into his chest with the sharp edge of blame and guilt and failure. He didn't take care of his son well enough and now he might lose him.

He wants to take Maggie's hand, but she's withdrawn into a hard shell, one Nate hopes the blades can't penetrate. He just hopes that later, when they're alone, she won't pick up her own weapons and come after him.

She does. He tries to believe it's only the helpless and apologetic doctors she's railing at, but every harsh word their son's too far away to hear in his hospital room, they all draw blood and are killing him slowly.


They try to restrain him, but nothing - nothing - will stop him from being by his son's side once he draws his final breath. It's all he can do to stay on his feet, he is falling to pieces inside and the only glue holding him together is the tightness with which he holds Sam's limp body in his desperate arms.

No amount of pleading to god, to fate, to the universe will undo this horrible wrong. Nothing can be done to make him or his family whole again. There is a giant void in his heart where his son's love once lived and no matter how much he loves him still, Sam's love for him will never ever return in a simple smile on his beloved child's face.

They finally peel him off when Maggie arrives, wanting her chance to mourn. He wants to hold them both, but Maggie pushes him away, wrapping herself around her baby so completely it's like she wants him back inside her again for a second chance they'll never get.


His wife walks their house, a wraith, unseeing. She won't speak, won't listen, won't let him touch her. Alcohol is his only company since the funeral took away all the supportive well-wishers who couldn't possibly understand the absolute wrongness of parents burying their only child.

He's supposed to be glad his friends don't have to understand this, but any charitable thoughts he might have had were lost when his insurance company employer sealed his son's death warrant by denying him treatment. Revenge is the only emotion fueling him now, but he's still too weak to take them on. He hurts so much he can barely stand.

A noise at the front door draws his attention and he goes to the stairwell landing to look down to the foyer. Maggie is there with suitcases, handing them over to a cab driver. She spares him only the briefest of glances and a whispered phrase along with a vehement shake of the head: 'I can't...' When the door shuts behind her, he finds he can't either, and he sinks down to the floor: not just broken, shattered.

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on November 9th, 2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
Title taken from the Rob Thomas song of the same name.

Anyone tired of me using song titles lately can blame my new LJ friend luninosity who peppers her fic with lots of song refs/lyrics/titles. (Eve 6 FTW!)


Emma DeMarais
Ashcatphotoash on November 9th, 2011 08:15 pm (UTC)
Love this. So heartwrenchingly painful you capture a moment we didn't really see so well!
Lomeinie: [lev] Nate w/Sam (bw)2cbetter2 on November 9th, 2011 09:04 pm (UTC)
This storyline has always made me cry and so does this fic... it's beautiful and so sad all at the same time!