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12 February 2012 @ 02:09 pm
Numb3rs Fic: The Latest Cake  
Posted to numb3rs_fic

Title: The Latest Cake
Pairing/Characters: Charlie/Billy, Megan/Alex, Ian/Nikki
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Sniper Zero, Man Hunt, Judgment Call, Thirteen, High Exposure
Summary: A new bakery in town inspires a few couples to try playing with their food
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

Billy let out a hearty laugh that did nothing to wrench away Charlie's appreciative gaze at the array of pies on the Craftsman's dining room table.

"Hey, if all I had to do was buy you pie..." He slipped affectionate arms around Charlie's waist from behind. "I know you're loyal to your Pie 'n Burger, but I figured you wouldn't mind if I tried out the new bakery on our behalf."

"Try out? Just how many pies does it take?"

Billy shrugged. "They had a buy two get the third free deal going on as part of their grand opening. So I got you lemon meringue..."

"I can see that," Charlie interrupted, eyeing the tall meringue longingly.

"Dutch apple pie for me and a chocolate mousse as a bonus. Then Don called and asked me to pick up a pumpkin and a pecan, which meant a second free pie."

"Key lime?"

"You got it. Don only wants his two - one for him and one for Robin - so we get to keep the extra."

"Four pies..."

"They better freeze," Billy mused.

"Freeze?" Charlie turned in his arms to look at him. "Why freeze?"

"Um, because I'm pretty sure we can't eat all four pies that fast."

Charlie tugged him in closer, bringing their bodies in flush.

"Who said anything about eating all four? I plan to enjoy using the chocolate cream pie filling as body paint on you." His voice lowered into a deeper more sensual register. "I do have to thank you for all these pies, now don't I?"

"Does this mean I get to lime you?" Billy asked, his voice already turning husky as his hands lowered to rest on Charlie's ass.

"How do you manage to make that sound dirty?" Charlie murmured, kissing his way up Billy's freckled neck. "And why do I think tonight's going to end not in dessert, but shower sex?"

"Well, we could have a food fight before the shower," Billy joked.

It wasn't until Charlie pulled back in his arms with a particularly wicked grin on his face that Billy realized the error in his suggestion.

"Oh, no... No..."

Charlie grabbed the chocolate cream pie and Billy quickly grabbed the key lime pie before racing up the stairs with Charlie right behind him.

"Come on!" Charlie called out tauntingly. "Pie me, babe!"


"Oh..." Megan's eyes widened when Alex opened the pink bakery box to reveal a layer cake covered in fresh strawberry slices. "And it's not even my birthday." A look of panic crossed her expressive face. "Oh, god! It's not yours, is it? I didn't miss it?"

"Relax," Alex told her with a playful smirk, putting the opened box on the dining room table. "You've got four months to plan for mine. This? This was just me craving cake once I saw there was a new bakery opening up near Cal Sci."

"I can get behind the idea of cake for no reason." Megan started to walk towards the kitchen. "I'll go get some plates." Before she could get very far Alex grabbed her wrist to stop her, fingers resting over her pulse point.

"No plates..." Alex tugged her in close, nestling their bodies together, hips brushing. "And no utensils. I brought my own." She reached into the box and dragged a finger through the white whipped cream icing, showing it to Megan as her lips curled up at the sides in mirth. "I was hoping you'd be my plate." Before Megan could answer, Alex drew a white line of frosting down Megan's graceful neck and into her cleavage.

"Shouldn't I be horizontal for this?" Megan teased as Alex's tongue followed the line back up, lapping up the frosting as she went.

"Eventually," Alex mused. "For now..." She loaded up the fingers on one hand with an ample amount of frosting as the other snuck under Megan's skirt to tug at her tiny thong. "Bend over, baby."


"Ah!" Nikki gasped as the sensation of coolness enveloped her right nipple.

"Like that?" Ian teased. She opened her eyes and found he'd swirled the frosting from a chocolate cupcake over her breast.

"Only if there's another cupcake for me somewhere," she mock warned.

"This one's for you - in a way." Ian swirled frosting over her other nipple as well, taking his time to make it form spirals over her small but firm breasts. He set aside the cupcake and started licking off the chocolate buttercream - dark against her tawny coffee colored skin.

Her breathing quickened as Ian's tongue made short work of her sweet skin. "Nice try," she managed between pants. "Now where's my damn cupcake?"

Ian chuckled, sat up and produced a pink bakery box filled with assorted cupcakes.

"Take your pick. They all looked so good I had them give me an assortment."

Nikki gazed into the box, unconsciously licking her lips. "Wow... I'm not sure how to pick..." After a moment's hesitation she picked up one with a soft beige fluffy frosting.

"I think that's Dulce de Leche," Ian told her.

"Mmm... It is..." Nikki had a blissful look on her face as she chewed her first bite. "Just what I'd hoped for." She took another large bite, decimating the little cake until it was almost half gone. "Just what I needed."

She took the other half and turned it upside down, dabbing the head of Ian's cock with a liberal amount of the caramel flavored frosting.

Ian kept his breathing under control, but Nikki still felt him jump slightly at the cool coverage - her free hand resting on his thigh. Putting the remainder of the cupcake aside she let the hand slide up and around the base of his cock. With a sly glance up at him first, she lowered her head and enveloped his cock in her warm mouth, using her tongue to dive into the fluffy sweetness and reveal the hard flesh beneath.

He let out a low groan of appreciation as Nikki's free hand reached for a fresh cupcake.

"There needs to be a new bakery opening up every week."

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on February 12th, 2012 10:10 pm (UTC)
I wrote this as a little present for my lovely slashwife melissima on the occasion of her birthday. Happy Birthday, Mel!

Please go visit her party over on my other LJ: http://mlleemma.livejournal.com/2012/02/12

The title is a riff off of The Greatest Cake from White Collar. The line "Pie me" is a riff on "Cake Me" which DK said at the end of the movie Scorched. The line "Bend over, baby" is from a long ago Josh/Donna West Wing fic that oddly worked for me, even if that was probably the worst line in the whole thing. /grins/

I confess that the third vignette I wrote (C/B) was moved into first position.

Very special thanks to beta t_vo0810 for her assistance with this fic.


Emma DeMarais
t_vo0810t_vo0810 on February 12th, 2012 11:35 pm (UTC)
I laughed out loud at the pie me line! So much fun, lovie! so much fun in such a lovely triple threat of food porn. :D

Happy Birthday Mel! Your present rocks!

Candi: Dean Thudmustangcandi on February 13th, 2012 03:07 am (UTC)
I love when it's birthday time because we ALL get presents... like this.

I don't even know where to start, so I shall simply say... please see icon.
One Part Exuberance; Two Parts Obsessionpenguingal on February 13th, 2012 06:53 pm (UTC)
So delicious... pun most definitely intended :D
browngirl on February 14th, 2012 01:14 am (UTC)
This is == what else -- delicious!

*cheers for melissima's birthday* Keep an eye on the mailbox!