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09 September 2013 @ 08:10 pm
Numb3rs Fic: Sibley Schooled  
Written for numb3rs100 Challenge #436 - Hack

Title: Sibley Schooled
Pairing/Characters: Ian, Colby
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 300
Spoilers: Sniper Zero, Judgment Call, Toxin
Summary: Ian and Colby return to Sibley for a weekend of hiking
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

"Excuse me, sir... Do you sell waterproof matches?"

The old man behind the country store counter sized up Colby in his too neat city jeans and not worn enough flannel and sniffed with a hint of displeasure.

"Waterproof matches are for boy scouts," he huffed, clearly dismissive. "A real man can light a fire in any condition."

Colby took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Okay, so I'm a former Eagle Scout and while I don't need waterproof matches, I just like having them when I'm out in the mountains for a while."

"You one of those sissy boy scouts from Los Angeles who never saw a real deer except on TV?" the man scoffed.

Colby's smile became strained. "No, sir. I'm a 4Her from Idaho."

The old man let out a huff of air. "Idaho's got big cities too."

"Sure, but Winchester's not one of them," Colby all but cut him off. "Now, do you sell waterproof matches here?"

Reluctantly the man reached behind him and plucked a box of waterproof matches off the dusty shelf and tossed them on the counter beside Colby's other purchases.

"Ring me up, then." Colby said, gesturing to the small pile of items.

"I just hope you can hack it out there in the real wilderness, boy. It ain't no picnic."

Before Colby could react Ian sauntered over, looking smug as hell.

"This man," he emphasized the word, "this soldier withstood extended torture by the Chinese to protect his country so I'm thinking your wimpy little mountain? Isn't even a blip on our radar." Ian grabbed one of the small flags being sold out of a cup on the counter, made a show of dusting it off and tucked it into the shopkeeper's chest pocket. "Hack that, Mr. Veterans Day Only Patriot."

lilacs_roseslilacs_roses on September 10th, 2013 05:25 am (UTC)
ROFLMFBO! I absolutely *LOVE* this! Well done :)
t_vo0810t_vo0810 on September 10th, 2013 05:18 pm (UTC)
ok, yes. i totally giggled at that last night. Ian (and you) are perfection! :D
Andreadizzydrea on September 11th, 2013 06:07 pm (UTC)
Hack that, Mr. Veterans Day Only Patriot.

I giggled when I read that. Go Ian!
Tamannaswingandswirl on September 12th, 2013 03:56 pm (UTC)
Hee! Go Ian! I totally cheered at the end.
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 8th, 2014 02:56 am (UTC)
Nothing like hicks making assumptions.