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28 August 2006 @ 11:58 pm
Numb3rs Fic: Taking In the Sights  
Written for numb3rs100 Challenge #70 – Sightseeing

Title: Taking In the Sights
Pairing/Characters: Charlie/Billy
Rating: R
Word Count: 200
Spoilers: Man Hunt
Summary: Charlie and Billy enjoy the view while on vacation together at the beach
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

Blue ocean waves crash, but Billy's eyes are a lake, calm and clear.

Specks of sand sprinkle over his bare feet and legs, getting lost amongst his freckles.

Charlie's eyes skim over the red-gold horizon then drift back to the subtle flame of his lover's hair.

His skin is warm from the setting sun, warmer still as he watches Billy, fresh from the surf, towel himself off.

"Enjoying the view?" Billy taunts. The sunset glows in Charlie's eyes as he gazes hungrily. "Like what you see?"

Charlie slides a hand up Billy's leg and under his swim trunks.



An early gray hair, wiry and pale, lies hidden in Charlie's sideburn.

Billy's fingertips begin there, skating over the bristled angle of jawline, detouring to slide over the rise of his Adam's apple then spread, descending into the expanse of chest hair below.

He follows the trail there - exploring hills and valleys, muscle and skin - lingering where olive skin pales, more closely matches his own.

He lays his head on Charlie's thigh as his fingers tease the edges of his dark curls and growing impatience.

Charlie squirms. "Are you trying to torment me?".

"Me? I'm just taking in the sights..."

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on August 29th, 2006 08:29 am (UTC)
Another bit of trivia...

Prompt #70 is the 20th prompt that melissima and I have published during our ownership of numb3rs100. We took over just after prompt #50 and have slowly been revamping the comm into something more dynamic and welcoming to authors and to readers. So far we're very happy with the results and have gotten great feedback from others on it as well.

I confessed on my last fic that I don't normally write visual/descriptive type fic.

And yet here I go again.

At least this time it was a more successful attempt. I 'failed better'! ;-) /winks at Criminal Minds fans who get that in joke/

This time it only took two tries to get a publishable drabble.

Credit goes out to melissima who read the 100 word version and asked for Charlie's POV as well. Thus the 200 word version, which works much better. Much love goes out to asemic for reminding me that I could work harder on fewer fic versus just putting out a ton of stuff without caring that much. I rewrote this and worked hard on it for you, my dear. I wanted it to be worthy of a comment from you and not just because it was Charlie/Coop. Thanks as well go out to 1trackmind for her beta comments that got me thinking a bit harder about the fic when I thought I was done. My gratitude goes out to all three of you for helping me put out a good fic instead of just a completed one.


Emma DeMarais
melissima: Charlie slick-puppymelissima on August 29th, 2006 02:46 pm (UTC)
Re: Confession
This is awesome. You are so in trouble now! No more getting away without giving me the awesome visuals I know you're capable of.

Your loving PITA
melissima: Mack Heashot Oil Effectmelissima on August 29th, 2006 06:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Confession
I sneaked by for another read, and am struck by the perfect parallel between surf and sand / blue eyes and freckles.

This is the perfect kind of imagery-- not only beautiful, but sight-shiftingly fresh.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on August 29th, 2006 07:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Confession
Wow, I'm just full of the yay today!

I was hoping to get on base and people are acting like this is a home run! Any more praise like this and my head might explode!

Just promise to keep kicking my ass after this, reminding me of how much better I *can* be when I don't just dismiss my works as good enough. Complacency seems to be my new enemy. My first 50 drabbles were good, now I want the next 50 to start approaching works of art. Is that a lofty enough goal, you think? ;-)

Thank you again for all that you do for me...
/hand to chest/


melissimamelissima on August 29th, 2006 10:54 pm (UTC)
Re: Confession
Always my pleasure and privilege. :)

Thank you for encouraging me without patronizing me. That's a very rare gift, and I am grateful for it.

Now, don't we have some porn to get on with somewhere?
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on August 30th, 2006 08:06 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
Comment Porn! Hee!

Sadly, still porn free at this point, but still... So much promise, what with the Don/Dean *and* Charlie/Sam!

More Salt in the Wound soon!

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on August 29th, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Confession
Hee! /is all happy/

You keep helping, I'll keep trying. I think I finally got my broken tritemeter fixed, so let's hope that it stays operational so I can write more like this.

Working hard to improve is always a pain, but you never are my dear. /squishes you/

melissima: Megan Smilingmelissima on August 30th, 2006 12:32 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
/squishes you right back/ I understand right now, more than I ever have before, what hard work writing is.

Good thing I'm too addicted to quit. :)

You just plain aren't aloud to quit.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on August 30th, 2006 08:07 am (UTC)
Re: Confession

Yes, Ma'am!

The fic machine is go! ;-)


Walking Liability: [RM] Little Probie Lostasemic on August 30th, 2006 02:01 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
You are awesomeness.

Seriously, this is wonderful. I love the details that you created in this. It's really gorgeous.

Failure my ass. Damn woman this is one of the best things you've written.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on August 30th, 2006 08:15 am (UTC)
Re: Confession

You have no idea how much this means to me. I worked hard on this for *you*, to impress *you*, to write like *you*.

And you liked it.

No, not a failure really, but neither is it the end of my journey. I haven't become an author who writes imagery well, I've just written a story with good imagery. The journey continues...

Ironic how this is exactly the kind of fic I tend to write and dismiss and with just an extra hour or so of work it turns into one of my better pieces in your opinion. Clearly I have to start focusing on my complacency issues and get to work writing better fic.

/puts you on a potter's wheel/
/spins you into a giddy vessel/
/fills you with teh love/

Thank you my dear.

NV: Numb3rs - Beautiful Mindneur0vanity on August 29th, 2006 03:45 pm (UTC)
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I'm blind with jealousy.

Everything flows so perfectly together. And stop with that "failed better" nonsense; you pwn, and this pwns, and there is total pwnage going on here.

He lays his head on Charlie's thigh as his fingers tease the edges of his dark curls and growing impatience.

This deserves some kind of Pulitzer-type-thingy because way to get the point across without breaking the beautiful and soothing atmosphere of the fic.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on August 29th, 2006 07:46 pm (UTC)

I think I need a pin. ;-)

BTW, LOL at "Pulitzer-type-thingy"! I love that!

I do think that was one of the best parts. The fic wasn't meant to be super porny, but it needed the hotness factor upped so I added Charlie's hand up Billy's swim trunks and a subtle euphemism for Charlie's *cough* monument. Hehehe

FWIW, any pwnage is courtesy of asemic. There would be none if she hadn't intervened, for which I am extremely grateful.

This fic? It's just a tiny bit of her rubbing off on me... /smiles/

Thanks for your wonderful comments...