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24 December 2016 @ 11:59 pm
Doctor Who Fic: And TARDIS Makes Three  
Written for smutswap Smut Swap Fic Exchange 2016
Crossposted to spoiler_song

Title: And TARDIS Makes Three
Pairing/Characters: Eleven/River/TARDIS
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: 6x13
Summary: Apparently having a threesome with a telepathic entity has its advantages
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

Other comments are housed at AO3.

"So when you promised me a romantic evening…" River adjusted the blindfold covering her eyes only to have her hand playfully swatted away.

"No peeking. You promised."

"I promised I wouldn't take it off," she teased, giving the Doctor's hand a squeeze as he led her through what seemed like innumerable corridors in the TARDIS. "You really do need to be specific in your requests if you care to have any expectations that I might consider fulfilling them."

"Ah, here we are!" River felt him halt and stopped as well then drew a quick gasp as she abruptly felt his warm breath at her ear, whispering, "Funny you should mention fulfilling as this may well be the most sexually fulfilling event in your entire lifetime."

"Says the man who denied me a proper honeymoon," she huffed lightly, recovering quickly. He pulled her through a doorway into a chamber that felt much warmer than the cool hallways they'd been walking.

The door closed behind them and the sound of a latch broke the silence in the air.

"Right then," the Doctor proclaimed. "Time to take off your clothes."

River laughed, wagging a finger in his general direction since she couldn't see him. "Now, now… What happened to the romance part of the evening?"

"Trust me," he told her, his voice lowering into a seductive register. "You don't want to waste valuable time in the antechamber. It's like sitting in the cabana for ages when you could be in the pool… Or better yet, a hot tub."

"Fine," she tried to keep the annoyance from her voice, but failed somewhat. She started to strip, feeling odd at not being able to see where to put her clothes other than to let them fall to her feet. "But this had better be quite the experience."

"Nothing like it in the universe… Guaranteed."

She could hear him disrobing as well and waited for him to finish.

"Ready?" she asked, the anticipation beginning to get to her. Patience was not her most prevalent virtue and right now she was itching to indulge her best vices.

"One last thing. Give me your hands."

She held them out and felt soft cloth being bound around them to keep her wrists together, though not so tightly that it was uncomfortable.

"Your bow tie?" she asked saucily as she tested the bonds.

"It seemed apropos," he tossed back. Another door opened and this time the heat not only grew a bit more intense, the force of gravity went the opposite direction.

"Goodness!" she exclaimed as she found her feet, needing a few seconds to stabilize under the sudden lightness of her footfall on the ground. She was still able to stand; there was enough gravity that she didn't rise into the air. It felt odd though to experience such lightness of being.

"Come in…"

The Doctor pulled her by the hand through the second doorway where the heat became moister, yet still pleasant – more like a hot day after a rain at the shore and not quite as close as a sauna.

The floor felt oddly soft and damp under her feet and she noted that each step seemed to sink a little deeper as they went further into the room.

"Blindfold, now restraints?" she ventured. "What's next in today's episode of Bondage Playhouse?"


They halted and he raised her arms above her head and attached them in someway so that she was unable to remove them. It wasn't a hook, not a proper one anyway, since all she could feel was the same sort of amorphous damp sponginess that was under her feet.

"Is this how you want me, husband," she taunted, her voice sounding far more certain than she felt inside. "Helpless? A damsel in distress?"

His voice came from around her as she could hear him circumambulating her body, almost able to feel his hungry gaze even without eyes.

"Oh, no no… This is about what you want…" He lowered his voice again, making her shiver. "Wife." He moved in close until she could feel his lips brushing against her bare neck. "Imagine… I know you have a wonderful imagination, so imagine this…" He kissed her at the crook of her neck and shoulder. "I have but one mouth to kiss you, to taste you, to devour you…" He licked her clavicle slowly, leaving a slightly cool trail behind. "But what if I had a dozen mouths to love you with?" Another kiss at the small of her back, one at her ankle, another on her hipbone. Fingertips brushed low against her belly. "I have ten fingers to touch you with." The fingers dipped lower, grazed so near her need she bit her lip. "But what if I had twenty? Or even more?" His speech began to quicken, excitement clear in his tone. "If I had arms to lift you up and hold you down? If I could pleasure you beyond the limits of my own body? Would you want that?"

"Yes!" The word fell almost breathlessly from her lips.

"Well then," he paused, the air pregnant with possibility in the ensuing seconds of silence…


His boyish little chuckle at that moment wasn't what she expected.

"Then I'm going to need some help." She felt his hands at her waist, steadying her. "Don't be alarmed."

She was about to ask what there was to be alarmed about, when she felt her skin touched again at her ankles and her wrists while the Doctor's hands were still on her waist.


Fleshy tendrils snaked around her legs, supporting her with feet just off the ground. Others spiraled down her arms and coiled themselves around her breasts.

"Open your mind to her. It's so much better if she can see what you desire."

River huffed out a breath. "So this is why Time Lords didn't really need companions! This is the TARDIS doing this isn't it?"

"It is, though it's just this one room that has this level of, shall we say, interface?" the Doctor's voice was smug and he sounded quite chuffed with himself.

"Does this mean I might have trouble telling when it's you and when it's her?" she teased.

A firm smack on her rear end made her jump.

"Oh, you'll know it's me." He caressed the sensitive skin, as if in a bit of apology. "For now, relax and enjoy both of us taking care of you."

More tendrils, might she dare call them tentacles, slid along her skin. Two laved her nipples delicately with slippery ends. Larger, even more slippery ones teased between her legs, leaving her wet from their tentative forays.

As the Doctor's bare body finally met hers from behind she sank into the feeling of skin on skin she'd so desperately wanted from him. She could indeed tell his wandering appreciative hands on her flesh yet still enjoy the explorations of her body the TARDIS was also undertaking.

She placed kisses on River's nipples, he tweaked them between his fingers.

His fingers stroked River's clit, she ventured a thick tentacle into her vagina.

River felt the Doctor's long shaft against her ass shift to between her legs, feeling it grow slick in a mix of her own wetness and the natural lubricant of the room. The tentacles holding her at the arms and legs shifted her in space, bending her even as the Doctor's hands guided her in to the position he wanted for her.

She held her breath as the tentacle inside her withdrew and the Doctor's cock pressed ever so slowly into her ass. Her skin hummed and she realized there was an energy flowing through the tendrils not unlike the thrum of a ship's engine. That vibration increased as he sank inside her, filling her just the way she'd hoped.

Before she could take more than a breath to steady herself the tentacle was back, pressing inside her so she was doubly filled along with a second tendril playing at her clit.

She wanted to scream at him to move, to fuck her, to do something other than make her wait because while this moment was delicious beyond sensory imagining, she wanted it all. Now.

Apparently having a threesome with a telepathic entity has its advantages; every sensation she could ever imagine wanting all happened at once.

The Doctor grasped her hips and thrust into her heartily. The tentacle pulsed and withdrew, buzzing and throbbing as it filled her again and again. The smaller tentacle enveloped her clit, the sensation somehow managing to be both like the lick of a tongue plus the hum of a machine.

Every fiber of her being felt on fire. Tendrils came out of nowhere to kiss her and lick her skin so that it seemed every square inch of her was being lavished with attention.

"Remember this…" The Doctor's voice sounded almost distant in her ear, her body so overwhelmed with lingering just on the precipice of pleasure.

And then she fell.

One final sensation pushed her over the edge and she fell careening into a supernova of bliss, her body sparking like an electrical cloud yet feeling grounded by her connection to the Doctor – his hands clutching her just shy of being hard enough to bruise as he shook hard, following her over.

After a few hard breaths the tendrils let her down gently, withdrawing back to wherever they came from.

The Doctor was still trying to catch his own breath while he untied her wrists and finally took off the blindfold.

"Did you really just use the sonic screwdriver to get me off?"

His buoyant grin charmed her as she brandished his tool in front of her, turning it on so she could see its light in the darkened space.

"I do seem to recall once telling you it was far more handy than you realized."

She pulled him down to relax besides her, pressing a sated kiss to his lips.

"Apparently the TARDIS is far more 'handsy' than I thought as well," she joked. She could just make out his face in the blackness of the room, lit only by the screwdriver's glow. She turned a bit serious. "I'm not sure how, so if you could, tell her thank you for me. I had a lovely time getting to know her like this."

The Doctor kissed her and the soft floor beneath them buzzed briefly with what seemed to be pleased little hum.

"I think she already knows."

Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on January 1st, 2017 06:42 am (UTC)
I confess I've had this threesome tentacle fic in the back of my mind for ages!

When the lovely rubynye dropped me a note to let me know about smutswap I figured I might not have time to participate, but anyone who knows me well knows I'm a sucker for pinch hits, especially at Yuletide. So I signed up to pinch hit at the swap and got an awesome prompt that was a perfect match for the long nurtured porn bunny between Eleven and River and the wonderfully mysterious TARDIS. It ends up, my pinch hit recipient merryghoul, had a list of requests that so well matched my idea that I didn't have to make any changes (just some additions) to my original idea to make it work out just as I'd hoped. Her short list was "Gun Kink For Science! Spanking Female Ejaculation Tentacles Telepathic Sex Zero-gravity sex Drug-Induced Sex/Sex Pollen Pervertibles Bondage Sex for Warmth Het Anal Anal Sex" and her letter was even better! Be still my heart! Someone who kinks as hard as I do with no shame. Yay! (Thank you, merryghoul for such a fantastic prompt/pinch hit experience!

I actually posted this fic for the challenge on AO3 back in April, but looming graduation and finals for my Masters degree got in the way of me remembering to post it on LJ as well. Mea culpa!

So it's up now for those of you who enjoy DW or just some good old fashioned tentacle porn. Enjoy!

Very special thanks to melissima because I think she probably betaed this back in the day and to rubynye for letting me know about the fic exchange in the first place!


Emma DeMarais
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 1st, 2017 06:49 am (UTC)
This is one of my favorite OT3s. :-)
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on January 1st, 2017 07:14 am (UTC)

I saw that you read it on AO3 and I was supremely chuffed to see your comment there.

/♥s you/
caribmoonlightcaribmoonlight on March 24th, 2018 06:23 pm (UTC)
Simply excellent!
I'm new to this venue, but I'm already becoming a fan of your work! You brought so much vivid detail to your writing and it certainly stimulated all of the senses! Bravo!