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27 November 2006 @ 11:58 pm
Numb3rs Fic: My Arms Your Hearse  
Posted to numb3rs_fic

Title: My Arms Your Hearse
Pairing/Characters: Larry/Megan
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Dark Matter
Summary: Megan had a reason for transferring to the LA FBI office
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ


But it wasn't.

Tillman was there, hiding under a coffee table.

He knocked the table over and fired at Tom.

Single shot to the neck – two inches above the Kevlar.

Michaelson took out Tillman.

It should have been her.



Megan felt her hand being wrenched away from Tom's before the paddles were placed on his chest.

She watched his body arch as the current was applied then fall back to the gurney.

They shocked him three times on the way to the hospital.

The doctors in the ER shocked him three more times.

Then they called the time of death.

It should have been her.


"I'll take upstairs."

"No, I've got it. Michaelson's got my back. Let's go..."

She'd let him. She'd let him go up those stairs instead of her. Without her.

He'd been distracted trying to protect her.

He'd been thinking of her safety and not his own.

She cradled Tom's lifeless form in her arms, crying silently.

"It wasn't supposed to go like this. You weren't supposed to leave me, Tommy."


She held it together at the funeral.

Only a few coworkers knew and all of them quietly gave her condolences as well as Tom's ex-wife.

She took a couple weeks off and went to Los Angeles.

It was supposed to be a vacation, but it felt empty going alone so she checked out the LA field office.

It turned out they had an opening for a behavioral specialist on what looked to be a strong team.

She applied for it as soon as she got home.

She started packing before her transfer papers were even approved.


Her new coworkers wondered why she didn't date.

The other agents in the building who'd asked her out were politely told she had a policy of of not dating fellow agents.

She was resigned to being married to her job, figuring she wasn't going to meet anyone outside of the agents she worked with anyway.

It was kind of okay, in a way.

Easy... Safe...

Then she was introduced to a man, a civilian consultant, someone untouched by the world of crime.

Then there were possibilities.


"So what prompted you to transfer to the LA field office?"

Megan swirled the remaining wine in her glass a moment before answering.

"A man I was involved with, a teammate... He was killed during a raid."

Larry blanched, but recovered quickly, laying his hand gently over hers on the tablecloth.

"I'm so very sorry. That must have been horrible for you."

Tears welled up in her eyes and she struggled to blink them away.

"Yeah... Tommy... He took my place. I should have cleared the upstairs, but he did it instead." She paused for a moment to regain control. "That's how he got shot," she added in a pained whisper.

Larry moved his chair closer to Megan's.

"I just couldn't face that again," she added. "It was stupid to get involved with a fellow agent in the first place and I swore I'd never do it again – never get involved with anyone who could get shot and die on me."

Her voice trailed off and she bowed her head, hiding her tears from the rest of the restaurant patrons.

Larry leaned his head against hers consolingly, their foreheads touching.

"I can only promise," he said softly, "that I will never do anything to increase the already minor statistical likelihood that I will be injured or possibly perish by means of a gunshot wound."

She wanted to laugh and almost did, but instead she kissed Larry's forehead.

"You know what? That helps. It really does..."

Somehow she'd found peace of mind in the oddest place.

But if Larry was odd, that was fine with her.

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on November 28th, 2006 08:37 am (UTC)
I confess I have no clue what happened with this fic.

It's either an experiment gone awry or a normal fic that went slightly off. I have no idea. It's just not what I expected.

I kind of agonized over doing massive rewrites or just releasing it as is and while I think it could use some work I'm at a loss as to what to do for it, so I'm letting it go. At the moment I have 175 straight up Numb3rs fic on my list, so I think I can be forgiven for kind of giving up on this one.

I like playing with structure and I've experienced numerical anomalies in my fic in the past (like two fic in a series being identical in length without any conscious effort or drabbles that are 100 words on the first draft) and this is one of those.

Each short section, when I first started writing, ended up being the same length. The first two were 7 segments long and the next ones were 6. What I realized is that they were all 6 – I just wasn't considering the words "Clear" as part of the count since – to me anyway – the were kind of outside of the story narrative. So I decided that that was the wrong approach, considering them all 6, so I decided to look at them as all 7s. Amazingly it took no effort to go back and put in a carriage return in each of the 6 groupings to make them 7. Evidently they wanted to be 7 all along – I was just mistaken. /grins/

FWIW, I chose the name Tillman for my fic before the Brutus episode with Senator Tallman aired. The name was one of my Google random searches that ended up a bit disconcerting. I considered changing the name, but went ahead with it since there is no connection between anyone real and the fictitious characters in my fic. Still, it gave me a bit of a chill...

What I hadn't given conscious thought to was that Tommy was the name of the lead character on Rescue Me which is the show Diane Farr left to join Numb3rs. It didn't even occur to me until long after the fic had been completed. It just seemed important while writing it that she called him Tommy even if he was referred to elsewhere as Tom.

For the Larry fans reading this, yes the phrase "Then there were possibilities" does refer back to his gift of white tuberoses and his thoughts regarding her perception of them. /smiles/ BTW, Larry's promise? I love it. It's so Larry – so odd, yet so endearing. I had to make Megan love it too.

The title of this fic, which is what was the inspiration for the entire story, comes courtesy of an album name by a band called Opeth. I discovered them when I was obsessing over a needle drop on Criminal Minds. I rewatched The Fisher King two parter and the refrain of "Sleep my child" kept haunting me so I had to look it up. The song is called Death Whispered a Lullaby. You should give it a listen, it's marvelous. FWIW, that song is not on the Your Arms My Hearse album, but I happened to run across that album title while checking out the band info online and a bunny was born.

Or rather a bunny died. Something like that... ;-)


Emma DeMarais
riverotter1951: red valentineriverotter1951 on November 28th, 2006 02:54 pm (UTC)
I enjoyed this glimpse into Megan's past. Her meeting Larry and his compassion when she talks about Tommy helps cement their relationship. Larry can not understand exactly how Megan feels knowing that Tommy died for her but he can provide the safety she craves since he is not an FBI agent.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on November 28th, 2006 11:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Clear
I know it's not an entirely plausible backstory, but it's what the muse felt like writing. Colby keeps looking for an explanation of why Megan is into Larry so I guess this is a tiny answer for him. ;-)


Jestana: Tuberosesjestana on November 28th, 2006 04:07 pm (UTC)
That was beautiful and sad. I like the glimpses of the characters' pasts, even if it's not canon. *grin*

But if Larry was odd, that was fine with her.

That about sums it up right there! He's odd and she doesn't mind at all. It's what makes him Larry. *wink* Bravo!
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on November 28th, 2006 11:25 pm (UTC)
Oh, good! I was worried you might not like it since it's rather dark.

I think Megan sees more in Larry than other people do and she's not weighed down by prejudices about age, attractiveness or even height. The fact that she's really proud of him speaks volumes for how much she admires him for who he is, not what he looks like.

Besides, normal is boring. ;-)


Jestana: #s: Larry/Meganjestana on November 28th, 2006 11:30 pm (UTC)
I like dark from time to time. *grin*

Whatever the reason, it's lovely that she is happy with him.

*giggle* An excellent point.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on November 30th, 2006 03:48 am (UTC)
I enjoy angst, but a happy ending is really nice as well. :-)
Jestana: Rivetedjestana on November 30th, 2006 03:52 am (UTC)
Yes, they are. *grin* I posted a rec for this on white_tuberoses, too.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on November 30th, 2006 04:05 am (UTC)
Wow! Thank you so much! That's very kind of you.

/hands jestana a white tuberose/
Jestana: Tuberosesjestana on November 30th, 2006 07:35 am (UTC)
Not at all. *grin*

Aw, thanks! *smells tuberose deeply*
NV: Numb3rs - Mad Scientistsneur0vanity on November 28th, 2006 05:59 pm (UTC)
I love how you've done Larry's voice in this. Very in-character.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on November 28th, 2006 11:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks... I've come to realize it's not just writing big words when small ones would do, it's not just writing a lot of words when few will do, you have to get into Larry's head and write from the Larry logic point of view. It's elusive, and I don't think I always capture it, but when I do I really like what comes out. He's deceptively difficult to nail, he is. I like the challenge.


(Anonymous) on November 29th, 2006 01:41 am (UTC)
well let me add my praises to your work- Ithink you got into both larry and meagan well- they work so well together BECAUSE they do accept each other- whatever flaws may be present or not-- they CARE and it shows in HOW they deal with each other- my fav thing about larry is that he is soooooo tender and sweet with meagan--- so yes i liked it-- somewhat dark but that is cool sometimes too- we don't always have to have fluff--I hope the show realizes this soon too- L&M have a lot of depth--- they can be more than the "sweet' couple---anyway thanks
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 4th, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
I think we'll see on Friday that they can do sad as well as fluff.

I'm glad you liked it.

bucketohearts on March 24th, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC)
Good story. Love the Larry/Megan connection... they do seem to click, no matter what.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on March 24th, 2007 11:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you. It hit me we have precious little backstory on Megan. It seems we know much more about even Colby compared to her. I don't get this pairing like other people do, but I do get that people want to read it so I like exploring it for them.

Thanks for coming to read and comment.