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08 December 2006 @ 12:03 am
Numb3rs Fic: Cascade  
Posted to numb3rs_slash


Title: Cascade
Pairing/Characters: Don/Charlie
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: None
Summary: It begins with a kiss and ends with his brother's name on his lips
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ


The blush of a cheek reddens slightly as it's covered by a warm palm.

A work calloused hand drags rough skin across a stubbled cheek.

Dark tendrils lure fingertips to disappear in their midst.

A curl winds around a finger like a baby's hand.

The air warms, thickens.

Breath is mingled.

Lips part.

Kiss.

+

Lick

Tongue flicks.

Taut hips buck.

Strong hands hold down.

A hot mouth envelops a cock like molten lava.

Wrists tug and clatter overhead as handcuffs restrain.

Thighs quiver as legs bend over shoulders and ankles cross tightly.

A name is whispered in reverence, begged in urgency and cried in ecstasy.

=
 
 
 
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 8th, 2006 08:05 am (UTC)
Confession
I confess this fic was an experiment.

The muse wrote the first part and left me hanging.

I refused to accept that that's all there was. I had an perfect inverted pyramid and I wanted its reflection below it to complete it.

So I wrote the second half without her.

Ouch.

Talk about painful. Now I remember why I don't write without her. No flow, all work, tons of rejected ideas and every word was hard to get out. Ugh. My own fault for wanting it to be not only a perfect cascading 8 lines (which is where the title comes from – the stair step length in the sentences), but wanting the shorter lines to have the same number of words and to put similes in the same line position in both of them. /headdesk/ I get pretty nitpicky about my numbers sometimes. When I was done and saw that it was 105 words I had to fight the impulse to go back and edit yet again to make it a perfect 100, even though this was not written for a drabble comm. Considering this is number 180 on my list of straight up Numb3rs fic, it would have been cool to have a 100 word fic with 8 lines in each section be number 180.

Yeah, I'm eccentric like that. ;-)

I plan on experimenting a lot more in 2007. I hope like mad it's all with the muse's assistance.

Very special thanks to melissima and iolsai for their assistance with this fic.

Thanks,

Emma DeMarais
markyfic on December 8th, 2006 10:46 am (UTC)
I can see that the other half sounds a little more strained, but I did love the last two lines, particularly the rhythm created in the last line.

Also, I have actually read and loved most of your fics(i.e., all the fics I've read, I've loved) beforehand, but I never actually commented on any of them. Apologies. Favorite series of yours would have to be Conflict and Reolutions. I can't remember the title, but another favorite was Charlie dealing with Margaret's death in twelve months and "Sucker."

This is just in case you find out that I've friended you after seemingly reading one fic and think it strange.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 8th, 2006 07:34 pm (UTC)
I can see that the other half sounds a little more strained, but I did love the last two lines, particularly the rhythm created in the last line.

LOL! I think the first and last line were the only ones who didn't get replaced more than 3 times. I do like the last line - so much so I kind of feel like I wasted it on this fic. But then again I'm bad with plagiarizing myself. I posted this and then almost immediately ran across similar language in another fic I published months ago. (The hand on cheek part.) Oops!

Also, I have actually read and loved most of your fics(i.e., all the fics I've read, I've loved) beforehand, but I never actually commented on any of them. Apologies. Favorite series of yours would have to be Conflict and Resolutions.

No apologies necessary, but I'm glad to hear about my work being read. C&R is arguably my biggest deal when it comes to Numb3rs fic, but it was (in my perception at least) fairly ignored when it came out which almost devastated me. I slaved over like 50 pages of really good fic and no one other than my betas cared? That's harsh for any author. I know more people read than comment, but number of comments is about the only indicator (save recs of which the fic got none). I was pretty shocked when it got nominated for an award, but then so did Last Call and that's the series most people flock to. Go figure.

I can't remember the title, but another favorite was Charlie dealing with Margaret's death in twelve months and "Sucker."

It's called A Year of Grief. I'd like very much to write more fic like that. /pokes muse/ There's one line in December that made that whole fic worth it for me. I loved it.

"Snowflakes snuggle into his curls for a long winter sleep."

Sucker surprises me, but Billy Cooper generates so much love in this fandom I should know better than to underestimate fic with him in it. ;-)

This is just in case you find out that I've friended you after seemingly reading one fic and think it strange.

Oh, no. I've seen you around and was glad you finally got an LJ. It makes commenting so much easier. I mean, authors love comments - don't get me wrong - but when we reply to them it feels weird to not know if you're sending out your response into the ether never to be read because the person will never get an email notification that they got an answer.

FWIW, I have a pretty long 'friend of' list made up mostly of people I've never had any contact with. I assume they friended me for fic - which is fine - but they've never even posted once so it feels weird to be friended by strangers. I know I asked for it by making my LJ entirely fic based, but to some extent it's unnerving. They only had to post once - to say hey I like your fic so I'm friending you - but they never did.

Anyway, thanks for the explanation and sharing your favorite fic with me. That was very pleasant. Thank you. In appreciation, if you'd like, email me and I'll send you over a sneak peek at the next fic which rivals C&R. It'll be going out next week, but you're welcome to see it in advance if you'd like. I don't have much to offer in the way of spiffs save fic, but I'm happy to show my appreciation when I can.

Thanks,

Emma
Abbie Strehlow: Blue Starsknotted_rose on December 8th, 2006 02:44 pm (UTC)
Mmm. Lovely. Both halves really worked for me. Good imagery with minimal words. Well done!
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 8th, 2006 07:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I love it when experiments come together! ;-)

/ogles cool icon/
Nicelyobsessed: Don mouthnicelyobsessed on December 8th, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC)
HOT!!!
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 8th, 2006 07:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks! /hands nicelyobsessed a glass of cool lemonade/
andi: Don chin in handadmiralandrea on December 8th, 2006 07:35 pm (UTC)
well, I didn't detect any notable difference between the two halves in terms of flow etc. I think you're too hard on yourself with your writing. This is beautiful and hot and very, very enjoyable :-)
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 8th, 2006 07:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm glad you think so.

I guess I prefer to be critical and push myself rather than just sit on my laurels and pretend that just because somebody somewhere once gave me a fic award that I'm done trying. I write for me and while I'm a slave to my muse I don't wish to be. I really wish I could write easily without waiting for her to inspire - and obviously I *can* write without her as evidenced by the above fic - but it's such a painful experience! Truly pulling teeth with the added frustration of *knowing* how easily and gracefully the fic would have been flowing out of me had I been blessed with her touch. I mean, the first half took maybe ten minutes tops - 4 to write and 6 to polish. The second half? Maybe two hours. For 8 bloody lines. /headdesk/

Still, I persevere... As long as I'm moving forward as a writer, I'm happy.

Thanks,

Emma
andi: Don grinningadmiralandrea on December 8th, 2006 07:47 pm (UTC)
I agree, writing when you're lacking the inspiration of a muse can be like getting blood out of a stone...

For me, I'm a visual writer - I have to be able to see everything happening in my head to be able to write it. Which means I have to visualise the whole fic first. Probably why I tend not to write anything very long. It can be very challenging! But when I'm in the zone, it's a thing of beauty to me...

I'm the same as a reader too. If I can't see what is happening as I read something, I find it very frustrating. Especially when it comes to badly written sex scenes!
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 8th, 2006 08:01 pm (UTC)
For me, I'm a visual writer - I have to be able to see everything happening in my head to be able to write it.

I wish I was visual. I struggle with that all the time. My writing tends to be poor in visual and descriptive elements because that's not how I experience the world. (Sadly, I'm not auditory either, but at least my dialogue is still pretty good!)

I agree though about flow - a thing of beauty indeed. :-)

I'm the same as a reader too. If I can't see what is happening as I read something, I find it very frustrating. Especially when it comes to badly written sex scenes!

/makes eep sound/

I hope I do okay with that! I tend to just go with what my muse gives me so I hope she follows a logical sequence most of the time. ;-)
andiadmiralandrea on December 8th, 2006 08:14 pm (UTC)
I wish I was visual. I struggle with that all the time

Visual is okay, but I suck at dialogue and emotions (especially emotions).

I hope I do okay with that! I tend to just go with what my muse gives me so I hope she follows a logical sequence most of the time. ;-)

I've got no criticisms of your writing on that score (or in any other area, actually!). I get frustrated when I read a long sex scene and can't work out what positions people are in or when they seem to be doing something that contradicts the position that was described earlier. It can be very disconcerting.

Someone actually wrote a critique of a sex scene in a The Sentinel story and the most remembered phrase from it was the zombie hand of Rob Lowe, because there were body parts that didn't seem to belong to anyone in it (the characters were supposedly watching West Wing at the start of the story, hence the Rob Lowe reference)...
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 8th, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC)
ROFL! I'm sure there's a good joke in there somewhere about Rob Lowe having his hand in a lot of sex scenes, but I'll just let it go... ;-)

I've got no criticisms of your writing on that score (or in any other area, actually!).

Well, thank you! That's very kind of you to say.

I get frustrated when I read a long sex scene and can't work out what positions people are in or when they seem to be doing something that contradicts the position that was described earlier. It can be very disconcerting.

I started noticing that when I started getting more into slash last year. The *ahem* acrobatics are a bit different than het and while I lack practical experience in M/M gay sex /snicker/ I do know a bit about human anatomy (being a human) and I find myself thinking often that kissing would just not be possible in the positions some authors are writing. ;-)

Someone should make a Gay Sex for Female Slashers video to show what is possible and what's not. Too bad technology is not cheap enough yet to put the heads of your choice convincingly on stand in bodies. We'd have not only Eppescest fic, we'd have Eppescest video! LOL!
andiadmiralandrea on December 9th, 2006 09:36 am (UTC)
Someone should make a Gay Sex for Female Slashers video to show what is possible and what's not. Too bad technology is not cheap enough yet to put the heads of your choice convincingly on stand in bodies. We'd have not only Eppescest fic, we'd have Eppescest video! LOL!

Amen sister! *g* I'm sure they'd make a fortune...
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 9th, 2006 09:43 am (UTC)
Well, the largest porn film industry in the world supposedly is right around LA, so who knows? Maybe someone nearby is cooking this up. ;-)
Keyla: numb3rs - stayneverbelonged on December 9th, 2006 12:43 am (UTC)
GUH.
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on December 9th, 2006 12:46 am (UTC)
:-)