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23 May 2007 @ 11:57 pm
Criminal Minds Fic: French and Shakespeare  
Posted to bau_fic
Crossposted to morgan_garcia

Title: French and Shakespeare
Pairing/Characters: Morgan, Garcia
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Extreme Aggressor
Summary: Garcia and Morgan banter during a day in the office
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

"Hey hot stuff, you got those figures yet?"

Derek strode into Garcia's bunker head buried in a file folder. When she didn't respond he looked up and saw her tapping a lavender feathered pen on her chair arm as if she wasn't going to spill until she had his full attention.

"You with me there, tiger?" she asked, arching her eyebrow at him.

"I'm sorry," he said closing up the folder and putting it aside. "I'm all yours."

"Oh, that's what I like to hear," Penelope chuckled wickedly.

"Now, now, little lady," Derek mock teased. "Work first, play later. Do you have the figures?"

"Not only do I have them, you big hunk of FBI agent you," she said, rising to retrieve a sheet of paper from the printer, "you are going to fall down and worship me when you see what I found for you."

She presented the printout with a flourish then sat back down as he read it.

"Oh, my god. This... Oh man, I could kiss you, Garcia."

"One dollar, goes to charity or try your hand at the dunking booth next door," she tossed off gaily.

"You are a goddess!" He finished excitedly reading the page and looked up at her.

"So my worshipers tell me..." she said with a pretend bored sigh.

"Rain check on that kiss, sweetness," he tossed off with a grin. "Got to take this to Hotch right away."

"Au revoir, mon cher... Parting is such sweet sorrow..."

Derek stopped halfway out the door.

"French and Shakespeare? Garcia, you really know how to kill a guy..."

"Kisses one dollar," Penelope taunted, walking over to hand him the folder he'd forgotten in his haste. "Knocking you dead costs extra."

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on May 24th, 2007 08:22 am (UTC)
I speak French.

I know Shakespeare.

I am a high tech geek with even a figure not too far off from Kirsten Vangsness.

I even think Shemar Moore is hot.

Yet Garcia and not me gets to enjoy him in this fic.


Why can't I be fictional too?

This fic goes out to philleegirl who shares my love of both Numb3rs and Criminal Minds.

We were playing around on my other LJ and I tossed out a line that Garcia might answer the phone with.

"31 Flavors of Garcia! Every one of them brilliant! How many scoops for you today?"

I tried for a few more later, but the muse wasn't with me. Since I did such a lame job coming up with opening lines for Lee I told her I should just give her banter, which I did. That off the cuff banter - which I liked very much - became the nucleus of this fic. I just added a bit to the existing dialogue only banter and voila! New fic!

The pen is also a little shout out to her because she mentioned Garcia's pens in her fic called In the Buff. (Okay, confess! How many of your minds went into the gutter at that title? Hehehe)

Again, I am stuck with a title I am not happy with. I wanted a title that would refer back to the kissing and dunking booths, perhaps something with a carnival type theme, but I got nothing. Rien du tout.

I got French, I got Shakespeare, I got no title.

Two out of three isn't bad... ;-)

(Oh, and any resemblance to French and Saunders is purely in your head.) /grins/


Emma DeMarais
Sycamoregirlsycamoregirl on May 24th, 2007 04:44 pm (UTC)
Re: Confession
Brillant as usual. You know just how to perfectly capture that winning banter, with the playfulness and sexual tension that those two have.
PhilLeeGirlphilleegirl on May 24th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
Re: Confession
Aw! *squishes Emma very tight*

You know, I know/am/think those first four things, too. I want to be fictional, too!

I loved the strictly banter version, but this fleshed out version is even better!

Thanks for the shout out, sweetie. I'm so glad to share the Criminal Minds and Numb3rs love with you. (And, I may need to pick your brain about those two shows shortly, if my muse keeps shouting crossover at me.) Of course, I made the title of that fic something that makes your mind go straight for the gutter. After all, I live there and I like the company.

(Oh, and I actually read it as French and Saunders the first time. But that could be cause I just spent half an hour trying to find their spoof of Rosemary and Thyme on-line.)
it's a great life, if you don't weaken: criminal minds garcia glam femme geekmatociquala on May 24th, 2007 12:13 pm (UTC)
This is a thing of beauty.

I wonder who's in the dunking booth? Gideon?

fireness on May 24th, 2007 01:47 pm (UTC)
Probably Reid. XD
it's a great life, if you don't weaken: criminal minds reid captivatedmatociquala on May 24th, 2007 01:53 pm (UTC)
Oh. But of course. *g*
autumnwritingautumnwriting on January 2nd, 2008 04:17 am (UTC)
I'd go for a Hotch dunking booth. If he's wearing a bathing suit. ;D

Emma, as usual, I just have absolutely nothing to say because I'm by now fairly certain you get telepathy spoilers of CM deleted scenes or something. ; ) It's *that* good.

Amazing job, as usual. <3
Good is Relative: CM Garcia LOLgoodisrelative on May 24th, 2007 12:26 pm (UTC)
This was excellent. You have their banter down perfectly!
melissima: Garcia Bravamelissima on May 24th, 2007 01:29 pm (UTC)
It's posted! Yay! I loved it as comment fun, and I love it more now.

One of these days your gift for dialog had better rub off on me...just sayin'.

The Evil Twin: wordsquoteicon_by_acidrosesbets_cyn on May 25th, 2007 02:27 am (UTC)
Pure fun!
Cracked me up! Especially after my 3-hour EMT class where the lot of us are realizing more and more our instructor is a jerk & we are so far behind all of us are freaking out we aren't going to pass the skills or written exams!

But I digress! The banter was BRILLIANT! Hilarious, I say!
Thanks for the smile!
dragonladyk on May 26th, 2007 05:22 am (UTC)
For a second there, I thought this was a transcript. ^^;; You've got a great handle on these two.

patch_tankpatch_tank on November 15th, 2008 06:23 am (UTC)
How, how, HOW did I not know about this little gem's existence before now? That was awesomely hilarious!
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on November 15th, 2008 07:05 am (UTC)
How, how HOW did you find it this late? ROFL

It's a fun little one, so much so I recently decided to try another one like it, so stay tuned!
patch_tankpatch_tank on November 15th, 2008 07:40 am (UTC)
Hee, I was reading comments in the criminalxminds comm, and you mentioned it to someone so I went to take a look-see. Totally loved it, can't wait for the next one - your M/G interactions are my reason for internet!living.
Emma DeMaraisemmademarais on November 15th, 2008 07:43 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, Bear had liked it and commented on it, which was nice.

All my stuff is tagged and memoried so you're welcome to check to see if there's any more you missed. I post so randomly and so frequently it's certainly possible.

I ♥ writing M/G. It's a true delight, almost as good as watching them in canon.

Thanks for your lovely praise. /smiles/
Clo: Criminal Minds - Morgan and Garcia Kisscitymusings on September 26th, 2009 08:21 am (UTC)