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30 July 2007 @ 11:55 pm
Numb3rs Fic: Mindful, Mindless  
Written for eppescest Summer Porn Challenge – Mind Games
Crossposted to numb3rs_slash

Title: Mindful, Mindless
Pairing/Characters: Don/Charlie
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Mind Games
Summary: After their argument Don and Charlie have a quiet reconciliation (Post-Ep)
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ

"I'm sorry."

Don's arms slipped around Charlie's slender waist from behind, wrapping himself around his lover in an apologetic embrace.

Charlie relaxing and leaning back against him was proof he was forgiven.

"I've been out here in the garage for like an hour now..." Charlie mused.

"Try over two hours," Don interrupted, nuzzling his neck. "Dad gave up and went to bed ages ago."

"Okay, two hours," Charlie conceded. "And I can't stop thinking about what happened."

"Mom's picture falling down?" Don asked, his brow furrowing. "You know that doesn't mean, well, you know."

"Yeah, but..." Charlie leaned his head back against Don's chest and threaded their fingers together. "If she exists still, on some plain of existence..." He paused, his voice cracking a little when he spoke again. "If she sees us - you and I - then she knows."

Don tightened his hold on Charlie, burying his face in his neck.

"Shh..." he soothed. "Try not to think about it."

"I've been trying," Charlie said forlornly. "I've been trying for the last two hours, but my brain won't let it go. I tried math," he gestured to the mostly empty chalkboard in front of him, "but I keep imagining her - disappointed in us, like we failed her... Like we're dishonoring her memory," he added sadly.

"Buddy, no..." Don turned Charlie around in his arms to face him. "She loved us. Sure, I don't think this is the life she would have chosen for us, but she wouldn't be that hard on us. She just wasn't that judgmental of a person. You know that."

"I want to believe that," Charlie said, head bowed. "But I guess the judgmental part of my own mind takes over and I start feeling guilty, like putting my own happiness first is a bad thing."

"It's not just your happiness," Don reminded him, lifting his chin with a finger and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"I know," Charlie mumbled. "Most of the time I'm okay. Just tonight, after Kraft got me all riled up on this case and everything..." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I think I just need to try to forget what happened - the case, Kraft, the picture - put it behind me. After all..." He pulled Don in closer. "It's not like I'm giving you up."

"Good," Don murmured, leaning in so his mouth hovered just above Charlie's - their breath mingling. "I wouldn't let you. Now..." his hand cupped Charlie's jaw as he dragged his thumb across his full bottom lip. "Let's see what I can do about that overactive mind of yours."

He let their lips brush as his thumb trailed down Charlie's chin, his neck and over his Adam's apple to where the collar of his shirt began.

As he took Charlie's lower lip between his own, his hand shifted to trail down Charlie's chest, his fingers detouring to briefly curve along the arc of each pec. The tip of his tongue teased at the entrance to Charlie's mouth as his fingers crossed over his stomach and lingered at the waistband of his pants.

Charlie melted under Don's attentions, his mouth supple and open to him as his body reveled at his touch.

As Don deepened the kiss, leisurely mapping his brother's mouth with his tongue, his hand slipped down the front of Charlie's loose fitting pants. He caressed his cock through his boxers gently, languidly - as slow and luxurious as the kiss.

Charlie let out a contented moan between kisses and Don took the opportunity to undo Charlie's pants so he could have enough room to release his cock and stroke it without anything in the way.

Charlie wrapped his arms around Don's neck and pressed himself against him, his hips making unconscious little thrusts with each pass of Don's hand on his cock.

Their kisses grew more ardent even though the pace remained relaxed. Don finally wrapped his fingers around Charlie's cock and pumped it slow - base to tip - while increasing the pressure of his fist just a tiny bit each time.

Breathless now, Charlie made helpless little noises as Don shifted his attentions to ravishing his long graceful neck.

"Don... Don..." The words fell from his lips, half prayer and half amen, just as Don led him to the edge of control - his body aching for release - then pushed him over.

Charlie fisted his hands in Don's shirt as he shuddered, bliss filling him until exhaustion drained him and he slumped against his brother, his breath warm inside his collar as he laid his head on his chest and rested.

Don held Charlie close, petting his hair as he waited for him to recover.

When he finally lifted his weary head, Don greeted him with a kindly smile. "We should get you up to bed. You need some sleep."

Still out of it, Charlie just nodded his agreement. "Sleep, yeah..." he managed before a yawn engulfed him. Another yawn took hold as Don cleaned them both up and refastened Charlie's pants. "I'm really tired."

"You work too hard, buddy," Don admonished him good-naturedly with a kiss to his forehead. "You need to take better care of yourself."

"You take good care of me," Charlie said happily, eyes drooping with sleep and satiety. He pulled Don to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Love you," he said softly, tilting his head up for a kiss.

Don held Charlie's face in his hands as he kissed him tenderly, relishing their final moment alone as lovers before they went back into the house as brothers.

"Love you too..."

Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on July 31st, 2007 08:41 am (UTC)
My apologies to everyone who expected El Paso today. I didn't realize that the last day of the month fell on a Tuesday and I always post my Journal Review on the last day of the month.

I'd have been fine, but I spaced on my assignments for Season 2 at eppescest and barely remembered in time to get them all posted before the end of the month. (Damn my self-imposed publishing limit of one fic per day!)

So I will have the final installment of El Paso up as soon after midnight as I can on 8/1. If you are so impatient you're poking voodoo dolls of me with pins /grins/, email me and I'll send it to you *plus* the original extra long version which I had to unmercifully hack to bits since it was like twice as long as it should have been (but IMHO funnier and hotter).

How's that for a decent mea culpa? ;-)

As far as this fic goes, I surprised myself by creating a title with a comma in it. I blame Eats, Shoots & Leaves which I recently read. In the past I normally would have used a slash, but this didn't feel like a slash fic. Okay, it's obviously a slash fic :-P but it's not a drabble so it would feel weird to me to have a slash in the title. /shrugs/ Eccentric, remember? Hehehe

So Mindful is for how Don is about Charlie's needs and Mindless is how Don renders him. If I'd written a different post-ep fic for Mind Games - one with rougher porn - it would have been very tempting to title it Mind Fuck. /wicked glint in eye/

I was trying to come up with ways to make each of these summer porn episode fic different and I realized that I don't remember ever doing any one-sided fic. Don gets Charlie off to get him out of his head, but makes no attempt to get off himself. I also made the pace slow and languid, figuring there's enough rushed urgent sex in the fandom. Variety - and that includes speed - is the spice of sex life. /grins/

FWIW, the big thing that was different was Charlie's emotional state over their mother possibly seeing them as lovers and judging them from the great beyond. That's got to be hard and I'd like to explore it in greater depth some day in a longer fic. For now, it seemed to me to be the obvious aftermath of Charlie's run in with the psychic Kraft.

Score one, make that two, for Don being a nice guy and a wonderful lover. He apologizes to Charlie and does not demand/expect an apology in return. He's upset about the idea of his mom knowing about them as well, but he focuses on distracting Charlie with long drawn out kisses and sexual touching while he demands/expects nothing in return.

Can I have a Don now please?


Emma DeMarais
meluvstonymeluvstony on August 1st, 2007 10:19 am (UTC)
Re: Confession
Great fic babe. And yep I want a Don of my own. Ya think we could clone him ;)

andi: Team Eppes Convergenceadmiralandrea on July 31st, 2007 04:04 pm (UTC)
Mm, yeah, I'd definitely like a Don of my own after reading that. It's nice to see him being unselfish and giving to Charlie.

And I like the idea of Charlie worrying about their mom seeing them from "beyond" and not liking them being together. But I agree that I think she'd understand, as that's the impression I got of her from Hot Shot. Alan, I'm not so sure about...

This was a great fic, thanks for sharing!

PS will be emailing for that long version of El Paso *g*
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on July 31st, 2007 07:27 pm (UTC)
You know I hadn't really thought about the idea that Don's not like that normally. I guess he shows his love in more subtle ways - being protective, holding back information that would make them worry, physical affection with his hands...

Okay, I'm back. ;-)

The issue with Margaret 'knowing' is what made me claim this episode in the first place. They can hide from Alan, but Charlie has to face that you can't hide from the omniscient dead.

El Paso's final installment and the longer V1 will be on their way shortly... /grins/

andi: Don & Charlie hugadmiralandrea on July 31st, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC)
Mmmmm, physical affection with his hands

:Goes to happy place:

Cool, thanks!
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on July 31st, 2007 07:36 pm (UTC)

And sent!

(BTW, never mind the title change. You can probably guess where the title came from and I just typed it in the wrong order for V1.)
fredbassettfredbassett on July 31st, 2007 07:09 pm (UTC)
Yes, I liked the giving not taking angle in this one. The part about their mother was difficult and sad. Very nice fic.
even_dusk_fadeseven_dusk_fades on September 28th, 2007 11:09 pm (UTC)
Via a stroke of wicked good luck, I stumbled across this fic and almost cried. It's so Don. Charlie is the most important thing in his life, so Don would do anything for him. And Charlie... Charlie is selfish enough to take comfort without offering it in return. I'm so impressed that someone else sees that side to him. Anyway. Long rant. Great fic!
Emma DeMarais: BlueEyeemmademarais on September 29th, 2007 10:22 am (UTC)
Hi there! Thanks for coming over to my LJ to check out my fic. I'm glad you liked this one. I really wanted to do something where Charlie agonizes over his mother knowing about them from the great beyond and Mind Games was the perfect prompt for that.

I have 11 more fic written for this Eppescest Challenge and hundreds more fic besides that so I hope you'll stick around and read some more. My fic is well organized using both tags and memories.

Thanks again for reading and commenting.
even_dusk_fadeseven_dusk_fades on September 30th, 2007 03:36 am (UTC)
You're welcome. I love how it's Charlie, the logical one, who broods over life after death. That's not something many people would expect, but I have the great fortune of knowing mathematicians and scientists, and they are some of the most spiritual people in the world.

I'll definitely stick around and read more!
Andreadizzydrea on August 5th, 2011 12:00 am (UTC)
That was so sweet and poignant. Don's always the protective older brother, but I don't see that as being nurturing. Yet here, he's putting everything aside to be what his brother needs in that moment. Giving and not taking. Just beautiful. One of my favorites of yours.

My favorite line, perhaps of all of yours that I've read so far (and I've read a lot)?

The words fell from his lips, half prayer and half amen...

Well written, my dear.